E (ebailey140) wrote,

HP Fic: Wannabe, Chapter 3: How Soon Is Now?

Title: Wannabe
Author: Perceval
Category: Smutty Crackfic
Rating: Still PG-13
Pairings: Increasing by the minute.
Warning: Some taboo territory, as a Crackfic should.
Summary: The quest for Tom Riddle begins, but not before a taste test and more song quotes from Luna

Finally, Ginny and Luna came up for air.

Ron was, well, less than happy about what he'd just seen.

"How long have you two been doing this?" he bellowed.

Luna replied, serenely, "Do you mean just now, because I didn't check my watch... Or do you mean..."

"Never mind! I don't want to know!"

"Then, why'd you ask?" Ginny wondered.


"You're just jealous because I'm a better kisser than you!"

"I am NOT jealous! And, you're not a better kisser!"

"Am, too! You're a terrible kisser!"

Hermione was hesitant to jump into this discussion, but she had to defend her boyfriend.

"Ginny," she said, "You belittled his kissing abilities, last year. How would YOU know he's a terrible kisser?"

"I... Um..."

"Have you ever noticed," Luna said with a curious expression, "how possessive Ron is of her? How he reacts whenever she's snogging somebody?"

"Hey!" Ron protested. "I'm just being... protective!"

"Yeah!" Hermione affirmed. "It's not like that! It's... not, is it?" she asked, looking back and forth to the two siblings.

Hermione found the uncomfortable silence that followed very worrying.

"OK, fine!" Ron yelled. "We'd gotten into a case of firewhiskey, and we were DRUNK! It was just that one time!"

"Yeah!" Ginny confirmed. "Just that one time! And, he was terrible at it!"

"Um..." Hermione said, wondering if she should ask, "It was just a kiss, right?"

"JUST A KISS!" Ron and Ginny yelled, together.

"Maybe it was being drunk that made the kiss bad?" Luna suggested.

"No way!" Ginny retorted. "I still kiss great, drunk. You know that!"


"Enough of this!" Ron said. "We'll SEE who's the better kisser. Hermione..."

"Um, I'd really rather not be the tester... Mmmph!" Hermione was unable to finish her protest due to the insertion of Ron's tongue in her mouth.

"Well," Ginny said to Luna, "now we know how to get her to shut up. OK, my turn!"

"Mmmngmm", said Hermione.

"Well?" asked Ginny.

"Um... Your... technique is excellent... But... With Ron..."

"We need an unbiased tester!" Ginny snapped. "Luna!"

Later, Hermione told Luna, "I don't think I was supposed to be part of your taste test."

Luna smiled and told her, "You liked it."

"That's not the point! The point is..."

"The point IS..." Ginny interrupted, "now that we've all snogged each other, we've got to rescue Tom."

Damn. Hermione had hoped Ginny had forgotten about that.

"We need to save him from himself!" Ginny continued.

"He is human and he needs to be loved," Luna added, "just like everybody else does."

"Luna, stop with the damn song lyrics!" Hermione snapped. "We're in a situation, here!"

"He is the son and the heir of a shyness that is criminally vulgar."

"Luna! This isn't funny! Do you realize what could happen, here? We're going to the Room of Requirement, to..."

"Aren't you the least bit curious to see if it will work?"

"Yes! But... Dammit! You're not thinking of the consequences! If it works... We could all end up in this big... orgy..."

"Well," Luna shrugged, "I didn't have anything better planned for this evening. And here I thought today would be dull..."


In the Headmistress's office, Harry Potter was brooding.

"Harry, you're brooding," Professor McGonagall observed.

"I just have this feeling..." Harry said, intensely. "Something's happening... HE is coming..."

"You're being paranoid, Harry."

Harry had the distinct feeling that if Luna had been in the room, she'd have said something about that.


The quartet stood outside the Room of Requirement. Hermione made one last attempt to dissuade her colleagues, Ron being too mentally numb to help.

"Guys... Think about what's going to happen, now..."

"When you say it's going to happen 'now'... Well, what exactly do you mean?"

"Luna, I said stop with the damn... Oh crap..."

Ginny was opening the door.


Tom Riddle congratulated himself for brilliantly finding yet another secret place at Hogwarts. He had already found the Chamber of Secrets, from which he was about to unleash something terrible, and now this. He had wanted information on that most mysterious of magical secrets, the ziggazagga. And here were books, in this room he'd just stumbled across, that he knew would have what he sought.

Just as he was about to unravel the mystery, the door suddenly swung open. There were... four students he'd never seen before. Strange...

Blazing eyes bore into his, attached to a blazing head with blazing hair, and... Well, she was pretty blazing, all around.

"Tom, we meet again," she said with a predatory smile.


Oh no! Tom's in danger! Oh wait, he's the bad guy. Can, um, our heroes and heroines be saved from Tom's corrupting influence? Or something? And, three chapters into a Perceval written fic and not a Black sister in sight?

Bella: Keep me out of this.

Me: No.
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