Rating: PG-13, for now, at least.
Category: Crackfic, um, I mean Humor.
Warnings: Everyone is a bit over the top.
Summary: Hermione never liked the Spice Girls, but never had hearing one of their songs given her a sense of dread. Thanks to Ginny and Luna, it'll be an interesting day for all.
Hermione Granger was a girl who felt at home in both the muggle and magical worlds. There were things she loved and hated about both. One thing she hated about the muggle world was manufactured pop groups. She especially hated the Spice Girls.
Unfortunately for Hermione, Harry Potter loved the Spice Girls. He loved one song, in particular. Much to her dismay, he not only felt the need to turn the radio up full blast, he felt the need to sing along to it. Very loudly. And, he wasn't the best singer in the world.
At least he didn't start dancing.
For some reason Hermione couldn't place, this bothered her more than it should have. She had this strange feeling of foreboding.
She, Harry, and Ron Weasley had returned to Hogwarts because Harry needed to consult with Professor McGonagall about their hunt for Voldemort's horcruxes. While he was doing so, Hermione and Ron were passing the time catching up with Luna Lovegood and Ginny Weasley. After Hermione complained about the Spice Girls, what Luna told her filled her with dread.
"Do you think it meant something?" Luna asked.
"Besides Harry's terrible taste in music?" Hermione answered.
"Prophetic omens can come in the strangest ways. Which song was it?"
"Ah... Perhaps you need to find out what a ziggazagga is. I've always wondered that..."
Ginny squealed, "I LOVE that song!"
"Really?" Luna asked, surprised. "You and your family have always been so isolated from the muggles. When did you hear it?"
"Um... I... I haven't, but... If Harry loves it, it must really be great, right?"
Hermione sighed. She'd really hoped Ginny had gotten over this. Ron rolled his eyes. Luna just observed Ginny with detached curiosity.
Hermione had always wondered about the dynamics of Ginny's and Luna's friendship. For the second time that day, though, she had a feeling of foreboding. All she could think was the old warning to be careful what you wished for.
"Harry loves many things," Luna told Ginny.
"Oh, I know ALL about what he loves!" Ginny breathlessly exclaimed.
"And what else?"
"Um... The Space Girls!"
"Spice Girls," Hermione corrected.
"Yeah! Them! And snogging! Snogging ME!"
"Or snogging, in general?" Hermione couldn't stop herself from asking.
"Look, we have this... connection! We have silent communication!"
"You have a damn chest monster! And a schoolgirl celebrity crush!" Hermione snapped. All the irritation had finally reached it's boiling point. "What do you actually talk about, besides Quiddich and snogging?"
"We don't NEED to talk!!! We don't NEED words!!!"
"Ahem," Luna inserted herself back into the firestorm she'd ignited. "Who's the Legilimens, here?"
"Huh?" Ron broke in. "Luna's a Legilimens?"
"Ron!" Hermione snapped. "Quit being so clueless! She knows what everyone's thinking all the time, and she's ALWAYS keeping eye contact..."
"I thought she was just being weird."
Hermione's hopes of straying off topic were dashed, quickly, as Ginny narrowed her eyes at Luna, who was grinning like the Cheshire Cat. Bloody Ravenclaw sense of humor...
Well, Miss Legilimens," Ginny addressed the Ravenclaw. "Tell us what Harry wants, besides me."
"You want me to just tell you what he wants, what he really, really, wants?"
"YES!" Ginny exclaimed, with a, to Hermione, frightening gleam in her eye. "He deserves to have everything he could possibly want, and I'll see to it that he GETS it!"
Hermione knew Harry better than he knew himself. They shared a special bond, along with Ron. Of course, so did Luna. She looked at Luna, warningly.
"Don't... Go... There," she said, through gritted teeth.
"Oh, but I MUST."
"So," Ron wondered, "What's wrong with giving Harry what he really wants? I think that'd be great. It's great that Ginny wants to do this."
"RON!" Hermione yelled.
So, what does Harry want, what's he really, really, want? And, what is a ziggazagga?