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Multi-Crossover HP Fic - Fairy Tales: Fata Morgana - Chapter 4

ebailey140@aol.com — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 22:01:07 GMT

Title: Fairy Tales: Fata Morgana
Chapter 4: How the Crumple-Horned Snorkack Got It's Name
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Same as the last, plus The Chronicles of Narnia created by C. S. Lewis.
Summary: Luna's fairy tale.
A/N: Special thanks to BellonaBlack, Pipenerd, and Sorg for ideas and suggestions they probably don't even remember making, it was so long ago. :)

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"A boat beneath a sunny sky,
Lingering onward dreamily
In an evening of July -

Children three that nestle near,
Eager eye and willing ear,
Pleased a simple tale to hear -

Long has paled that sunny sky:
Echoes fade and memories die:
Autumn frosts have slain July.

Still she haunts me, phantomwise,
Alice moving under skies
Never seen by waking eyes.

Children yet, the tale to hear,
Eager eye and willing ear,
Lovingly shall nestle near.

In a Wonderland they lie,
Dreaming as the days go by,
Dreaming as the summers die:

Ever drifting down the stream -
Lingering in the golden gleam -
Life, what is it but a dream?"

-Lewis Carroll, Through the Looking Glass and What Alice Found There

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Once upon a time there was a boy named Tom Riddle.

He lived in an orphanage, and today was his seventh birthday.

This meant cake, pretending to like the other kids at the orphanage, and them pretending to like him.

They didn't like him, he knew. They thought him too strange, a quiet, thoughtful, child. Being remotely thoughtful was something beyond the other kids. For that matter, it was beyond most adults Tom had encountered.

He knew the entire rest of the world couldn't possibly be this boring, that there had to be some interesting people who did think, now and then. After all, Tom loved books, and those were obviously written by some interesting, thoughtful, people. He wondered if those people felt as alone in the world as he did, and this is how they reached others, finding kindred spirits.

Tom would sometimes lose himself completely in books. He was especially drawn to stories of heroes going on great quests to magical faraway lands. His favorite was about a girl around his age who was utterly bored by her mundane surroundings and found adventure by following a rabbit with a watch, a girl after his own heart. Now, THAT'S what he needed, he thought. Unfortunately, one wasn't likely to have a talking rabbit with a watch turn up to make your day interesting. Still, though, he'd imagine himself accompanying the girl on her adventures. He thought he'd found a genuine friend in the girl in the book.

It was then that he heard a strange voice in his head.

"What would it be like to really lose yourself in a book?" the voice asked. "Could you picture it, actually being in a book?"

Right. He needed to get away from the orphanage, right now, if it was making him hear voices in his head. Despite what he was certain some thought, he wasn't mad.

"Are you sure about that?" the voice asked.

"Very sure," he thought back.

"You're hearing voices in your head, and answering them," the voice replied.

"Only because this place leaves me with only myself for good company," thought Tom.

"You should get out, take a stroll, then," said the voice.

"I'm about to do just that," Tom replied.

"Following the advice of the voice in your head? And you're not mad?" the voice asked.

"No, I was going to do that, anyway," Tom answered, firmly.

"Are you sure?" the voice asked.

"Yes!" Tom answered, hopefully not out loud. And, he was sure. He often wandered when he was bored. And, he was often bored. "I just have to figure out where I want to go. Then, I will," he thought with certainty.

"Where do you want to go?" the voice asked.

"Anywhere but here," Tom answered.

"Then, it doesn't really matter where you go," the voice said.

Infuriating. But, there was something familiar about what the voice had told him that he couldn't quite place. That just made it even more infuriating. Nevertheless, he couldn't deny that it was good advice. Of course, this voice in his head had to be some sort of inner monologue, so of course he'd give himself good advice.

"You give yourself good advice, but how often do you follow it?" the voice asked.

Tom sighed, and was certain some fresh air would clear his head.

One wouldn't think there would be interesting places to explore in the part of London the orphanage was in, that is if one didn't allow himself to see things others didn't notice. Tom always saw things others didn't notice. Most would just not really look at what was around them, just walking through their mundane lives, thinking mundane thoughts, as if they wanted their world to be boring. This part of London had little to offer in the exotic, so Tom simply made do. He couldn't get any of the other children to share his fascinations. They just refused to see the possibilities.

For example, some of the older houses in the area. There were some he was certain were somewhat alive, feeling different than others. Tom couldn't understand how most failed to notice this. He never had to be told, beforehand, that some of the older houses were said to be haunted. He could always tell exactly which ones were. He wanted to know the stories these places had to tell.

Some gained his curiosity for a different reason. Some homes had large, locked, gardens. He'd read about these, and wanted to see one, up close. He stood outside the gates of one, really wanting to see what was on the other side.

"Why don't you look and see?" The voice was back.

"It's locked, and forbidden," Tom answered.

"But, you're curious," said the voice.

"Yes, but..." Tom began.

"What would Alice do?" the voice asked.

Tom sighed, again, and replied, "Alice would find a way into the garden, and explore. She rarely listened to the good advice she gave herself."

"Oh yes," the voice answered. "Good advice. Stay with what's familiar, what you know. Don't go exploring strange places. You never know what you might find."

"Hmmph..." Tom said, words, for once, failing him.

The voice continued: "She just... had to go do it, though, didn't she? But then, we can't all have that sort of spirit. Most resist the call to adventure. It keeps them out of trouble."

"What sort of adventure could I find in a garden, anyway?" asked Tom.

"Who knows?" the voice asked with amusement. "That's what makes it an adventure."

"Yes, but..." Tom said, again hesitantly.

He noticed that a mist had risen. This gave him a very strange feeling, and he wondered why.

He looked through the locked gates. He could see part of the garden, but only a small part of it. He then noticed the strangest thing. There seemed to be small lights dancing. He felt like he should know what that meant, but he couldn't think clearly and logically, at the moment. This frightened him.

"Now, there's something you don't see every day," the voice said.

"Maybe I should go back..." Tom thought.

"Yes, maybe you should. Back to where things are safe and oh so boring..." replied the voice.

"This could be dangerous," Tom reasoned.

"Well, not everyone can hear the call," the voice replied.

"No, but I CAN," Tom affirmed.

"So, what are you going to do about it?" the voice asked.

He knew what he wanted to do. He wanted to do exactly as Alice would. The gate was locked, yes, but it would be a simple matter to climb it and learn the garden's secrets. He wondered why no one ever did that.

He suddenly realized that flowers were blooming in the garden in the middle of Winter. How...?

"Most wouldn't think of it," the voice said. "Most simply walk by, every day, and THEY don't catch their eye. Most cannot see. Those who can feel pressure not to. It's understandable if you choose to pretend not to see. You'd fit in with normal people, better."

"They're boring," said Tom.

"Yes, they are. But... I understand why you'd want to be like them," the voice said.

"I do NOT want to be like them," Tom said, angrily.

"They don't have to think about anything other than what's right in front of them," the voice replied. "Of course, look at what's right in front of you... But, I suppose you can just pretend you don't see it. You can choose a normal, boring, mundane existence."

Fine, Tom thought. He knew he shouldn't, but... He could never deny what he was seeing. He could to others, but never to himself. He'd always wonder...

What did those normal, boring people matter, anyway?

"Now, THAT'S the spirit," the voice said.

His decision made, he climbed over the gate. It was surprisingly easy.

It was a beautiful garden.

It was also much larger than he thought it could be. There simply didn't seem to be this much room from the outside. It was impossible, yet here it was.

He followed the dancing lights, that seemed to be drawing him to... somewhere. As he drew closer, they became more clear. They looked like... fairies?

But, that was impossible. Fairies only existed in stories.

"Yet, there they are," the voice told him.

As he followed the fairy dance deeper into the garden, he noticed the flowers were much larger than they should be. They also seemed to be... watching him? And, he noticed it was suddenly awfully... warm for the end of December.

"Happy birthday, Tom," the voice said. Tom suddenly realized the voice was coming from outside his head, now. He spun around, to see a cat grinning at him, before it... vanished.

"Oh, bugger..." was all Tom could think to say.

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Queen Alice of Wonderland was sitting on her mushroom throne contemplating riddles when the Cheshire Cat came, bearing news.

They had a visitor.

Sometimes, she would take an audience with her visitors. The Cheshire Cat was insistent she take this one.

"Oh, you'll like him," he told her.

"You've introduced yourself, I expect?" she asked.

"Oh, but it would have been so rude not to," he replied.

"Good," she said, amused. "So, why do you insist I take a personal interest in this one?"

"Oh, but you MUST. It's his seventh birthday," he answered.

"Is it?" she asked.

Well, that was certainly... something. It was on her seventh birthday that she made her first journey to Wonderland. Or, was it that was when Wonderland came into being? No matter... Obviously, her story had made quite the impression on the boy.

"So," she asked, "what can I expect?"

"He reminds me a lot of you, when we met," he answered. "He has your curiosity, and I think he's even less patient than you were."

"Well, my dear," Alice replied, "you have an uncanny knack for trying one's patience. You would have infuriated Job, I think."

Not that she could hold it against him. After all, he was just what she had made him... or what HE had made him... Or THEY, the ones who set everything in motion, with their magic, the ones who had made her their own...

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Bloody rude flowers.

The Tiger-Lily was the only one with any manners, Tom thought.

He'd considered trying to pick the lot of them, but he remembered they had told Alice something about a protecting tree. He recalled that they didn't say that the tree would get physical about things. He imagined a violent tree taking swings at people, and decided that would be very unlike a tree. But, considering where he was, somewhere nothing behaved as it normally should, he reasoned that it was probably best not to risk it.

He really needed to leave this garden, though. He remembered that this would lead him to the Red Queen, and he really had no desire to meet the Red Queen. This would lead to playing an elaborate chess game, and, while Tom found chess quite interesting, at seven, he'd hadn't the opportunity to learn to play it well, at least well enough for the stakes he'd be playing for, here. Besides, she'd insist on offering him a biscuit when he really didn't want one, especially if he didn't want one.

And anyway, that wasn't the Queen he wanted to see. But, he thought sadly, she surely wouldn't be here. After all, she'd left, many years ago, left and was living her life. His Alice was long gone.

But then, he thought, if this was a dream, and surely it was, anything was possible. Except, it didn't feel like a dream. The Dreamworld felt very different than this, as one noted when one realized one was dreaming. He reasoned that he MUST be dreaming, but he clearly wasn't.

"Curiouser and curiouser," said Tom, as he wandered out of the garden.

If he wasn't dreaming, then he had to be in a very real place. But, Wonderland could not be real. There were rules governing the world, and this place defied every single one of them. The only possible explanation was magic, and magic didn't exist. Tom knew that.

But... He'd had some interesting experiences during his seven years, that had, as far as he could tell, no simple, reasonable, explanations. He considered, for a moment, that perhaps magic DID exist. But surely, if it did, everyone would know it. Of course, people didn't seem to notice so many things that Tom did. He was... special, he'd been told. And, he was here, which pretty much settled the argument. Perhaps.

Maybe he really was mad, after all.

"Well, of course you are," a now familiar voice said.

Tom looked up, and there was the Cheshire Cat on a tree branch, fortunately not a violent one.

"We're all mad, here," said the Cat. "I'm mad, you're mad."

"I'm NOT mad!", Tom said angrily. Well, maybe he was a bit mad, but not in the way the Cat was referring to.

"You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn't have come here."

"I knew you'd say that," Tom countered.

"Of course, you did," said the Cat.

"And, Alice wasn't mad, which proves you wrong," Tom said, certain that, at last, he was winning an argument with this infernal feline.

"Isn't she?" the Cat asked. "Her Majesty is Queen and Creator, after all. All of this came from her mind. It's... a reflection of how she saw the world, out there."

"No one can shape a world as they see fit," said Tom.

"Is that so? You can tell her that, when you meet her," said the Cat.

"I can't meet her, because she can't be here," Tom said, annoyed.

"Why not?" asked the Cat.

"Because..." Tom began, gritting his teeth. Tom was losing his patience, he knew, which never led to good things, here, but he had to maintain some reason... "She's out in the real world, living a real life. It's been in the newspapers, and someone can't be two places at once!"

"How do you know?" asked the Cat.

"It's impossible," said Tom.

"And, how many impossible things have you done, today?" the Cat asked.

"At least it's well after breakfast," Tom conceded. "But, we have bodies and souls. She'd have to have more than one body..."

"That's very convenient for her, yes," the Cat said.

"And we CAN'T have more than one soul. You'd have to be able to split the one you have," said Tom.

"Yes..." said the Cat.

"And, that's impossible," Tom concluded.

Tom felt really stupid saying that, all things considered. What was impossible in a place like this? How could a place like this exist? All he could think of was... magic.

Well, either magic existed, or he was quite mad. He preferred the first option, even though it was the least logical one.

"You're tense," the Cat noted.

"OF COURSE, I'M TENSE!!!" Tom shouted.

"Perhaps you could use a soothing cup of tea," the Cat suggested, before disappearing, again.

Right, Tom thought. If he was certain of one thing, he'd never be able to actually drink a cup of tea in this place. Still, though, he knew this place, however mad, had it's rules, it's way of doing things, it's own internal logic. He knew, from the Cat's words, exactly what was coming next.

He wouldn't have any tea, he was certain, but he'd have to try, anyway.

So, he set off towards inevitable destiny.

Tom loved stories of heroic quests, finding the boon, winning the fair maiden. And now, he was off on one, himself.

He would face the dangers and general annoyances of Wonderland. Be it jabberwock, bandersnatch, twins fighting over a rattle, he would face it. Nothing would come between him and his beloved Queen Alice. He would find the tea, and do what no visitor had done before. He would successfully drink a cup. Then, he would be worthy of his Queen.

He paused. This place was really getting to him, he realized.

No matter. He decided, right there and then, that when he chose a course of action, he would see it through to the very end. Now, to find the damn tea...

Wait, he needed a plan. One didn't simply go stomping around and expect to get anything done. No, he needed to work out exactly how he was going to accomplish the tasks he'd set for himself.

Though he'd never been here, directly, at any rate, he knew this land. This was how he'd avoided the Red Queen and her chess game. The Tea Party wouldn't be with the Cards, so, if he was careful, his head would be in no danger of rolling. If he played his cards right...

This place really was getting to him.

Everything was puns. Wordplay and numbers. Words and numbers had power, here. The way the number forty-two recurred in this place... Perhaps the greatest knowledge lay in that number's mystery...

For all it's seeming nonsense, there was much to learn in Wonderland. For example, the tale of the Walrus and the Carpenter. Tom thought that tale told a terrible truth, the gullible get gulped.

Now, how to find the tea party... Where was that damn Cat when you needed him? Oh well, there would be signs. There were always signs.

There was a potential problem, he realized. The Mad Hatter had been imprisoned for a time by the White Queen. He was free now, Tom remembered. But, it was no longer perpetually six-o-clock for him, no longer always tea time. Yet, the Hatter was still drinking his tea, so if Tom could find him, tea would be had.

Was Hatta still in the White Queen's service? Alice had disrupted everything on her ascension to the throne, so perhaps not. So, the Hatter could be in his home, he could be with the White Queen, or... He could be anywhere.

Tom suddenly realized he had no real clue what to do.

He was frightened, for a moment, but just a moment.

Alice was never frightened, and she didn't have his knowledge of this place when she first came here. So, he wouldn't be, either. There was a way. There was always a way. He'd just have to think of what it was, but he was always a clever boy. He knew he could. He knew he would. He would make things happen.

He saw something in the distance. Serendipity. Mushrooms.

And, with mushrooms, he was certain, would be a caterpillar. And with a caterpillar would come advice that would aid him in his quest. This was how these things were done.

Yes, he would find the proper road, find the Mad Hatter, and then find the elixir, the tea, and drink of it. Then, he would find his Queen. Everything in it's proper order.

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One interesting thing about being a Goddess was Alice's form was however her mortal visitors perceived her. She looked at her hair, blonde and scraggly, her dress... Mr. Tenniel's drawings, of course. She didn't need a mirror to know her eyes were especially large. She felt the familiar crown on her head, and the large scepter appeared in her hand. She waited for her audience.

Then, with perfect timing, she saw him approach.

He was a pretty boy, she noted. And, a bit tentative. There was an internal conflict, she observed, as, since becoming Queen and Goddess, she could always read her visitors. It was only fair, really, since most who came here had read her. He was so preoccupied with his surroundings, he'd hadn't seen her, yet.

"Hello," she greeted, smiling.

The boy jumped, startled. His expression was priceless, Queen Alice thought.

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A girl's pretty voice pulled him from his musings. He looked up.

Sitting on the mushroom as a throne... wasn't a caterpillar.

Tom had forgotten things are often backwards in Wonderland.

His Queen had found him, and he'd hadn't even found the tea, yet.

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It was the happiest birthday he'd ever had. Not that his previous birthdays provided much in the way of competition, mind you. He and his Queen laughed, they played, they swam in the clearest pond he'd ever seen. Of course, the pond was enchanted by fairy magic, not muddy and dirty like any he had encountered. The air was different, too.

"It's clean," Alice explained when he mentioned it. "London is a rather dirty place, I'm afraid. The air can choke you."

"Air shouldn't choke," Tom said.

"No, it shouldn't," Alice replied.

"Someone should do something about it," Tom concluded.

"Perhaps you will, some day," said Alice.

"What can I do about it?" he asked.

"Whatever you choose, whatever you set your mind to," she answered.

"I'm not like you. I don't have your magic," Tom said.

"Oh, you have magic, Tom. You'll learn how to use it," Alice said. "And now for tea."

At last, tea. And sweets, too.

Tom was about to take a sip when he thought of something he'd once read.

"Is it true," he asked, "that one shouldn't eat or drink anything in a fairyland?"

Queen Alice looked startled.

"That's what some say," she answered.

"You ate and drank here, and now you belong to the Fae," Tom said.

"Yes," she confirmed.

He put the tea down, quickly.

"I've got to go back," he said.

"You don't have to," she answered. "You can stay here, with me."

"No," he said.

"Don't you like it, here? Isn't this so much better than where you're from?" Queen Alice asked.

Yes, yes it was.

"I do love it, here," Tom said. "I love... being here, with you. You're... my first real friend. But I can't stay."

"Why?" she asked.

When Tom was older, he was able to answer that question, but now... He couldn't. He just knew he had to return home, such as it was.

"Tom," she told him, "If you ever want to return, just wish it. I'll hear you."

"Thank you," he said, gratefully.

It was then that something nestled against him, something he'd never seen, before. It... What was it? He didn't remember ever seeing anything like this, or reading about it.

Queen Alice smiled with delight.

"What is it?" Tom asked.

"It's something new!" Alice said with excitement. "We haven't had a new creature here in so long... We must name it!"

"What will you call it?" Tom asked.

"You discovered it," Queen Alice decreed, "so you shall name it."

Tom looked at the small creature. He was going to give this species it's name, so it needed to be something good. He tried to think of a name that would fit Wonderland. It had a single unusual horn...

He announced: "I'll call it... the crumple-horned snorkack!"

"Then, the crumple-horned snorkack it shall be," she agreed, happily.

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The next morning, Tom awoke, in his bed in the orphanage. He remembered that magical night.

"It was all a dream..." he said, quietly.

Just then, he saw something out of the corner of his eye, a familiar creature with a single crumpled horn. The creature seemed to smile at him, before it left.

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Tom learned, over the next few years, that he did have magic, just as Alice said. He learned many other valuable things, too.

The older kids in the orphanage had always been cruel, in that naive way only children can be. He had to develop the strength and will to survive them. Yes, the world was Dog Eat Dog, and he'd have to be the most vicious dog in the yard.

He was different. He could do things others couldn't. He'd discovered the power within himself that Alice had spoken of, the power to make things happen, the power to control. One was either hammer or anvil, and now he would most definitely be the hammer.

He wondered what this magic was, where it came from. He wondered who his parents were. He'd concocted all sorts of fantasies. Maybe his origins were of another world. Maybe he was the lost child of gods. Whatever he was and wherever he came from, he knew one thing for certain, that he had a great destiny. Still, there was so much to learn. He read everything he could get his hands on, absorbing all the knowledge he could find, but it wasn't enough. He needed to find others like him. He needed a teacher. He'd once read that when the student is ready, the teacher will come, but that was ridiculous. Or, so he thought, until the day Albus Dumbledore arrived at the orphanage.

Tom learned he was a wizard. Further, he learned that wizards had their own culture, away from this common rabble, called muggles. And, there was a school where he could learn how to utilize his gifts. When he arrived at Hogwarts, he felt as though he had truly come home.

It was at Hogwarts that Tom met his second true friend, a Ravenclaw in his year named Xeno. Tom had been sorted into Slytherin, though he didn't understand why. What he did understand was that he and Xeno weren't like most others, even among witches and wizards. Tom had quickly learned that most witches and wizards were as blind as the muggles. Tom knew Professor Dumbledore didn't like him, and his hostility only increased after Tom's sorting. Dumbledore had no love for Xeno, either.

Xeno listened to Tom's tale of his adventure in Wonderland with fascination. Xeno wanted to visit the fairylands, and agreed with Queen Alice's assessment of the air in London.

"Why does Dumbledore dislike you?" Tom asked Xeno, one day.

"It's because of my grandfather," Xeno answered. "He's been causing a lot of trouble in Europe, I'm afraid. Mother disapproves, so she moved here with Father. I'm told I look like my grandfather, though. So I guess that's who Dumbledore sees when he looks at me."

"That's... stupid," Tom said.

"That's the way it is, though," Xeno concluded. "Maybe that's his problem with you? Related to anyone notorious?"

"I don't know," Tom answered. "I have no idea who my family is."

"No one's ever looked into it?" Xeno asked, shocked.

"No," Tom answered, sadly. "There were no records at the orphanage. My mother died right after giving birth to me. She left me with only my name."

"Well, that's a start," Xeno answered. "I know someone, a Professor at Oxford. Oxford has a lot of fairy magic about it..."

"I know," Tom said. "That's where Alice was from."

"There's more connected to Oxford than Wonderland," Xeno said. "Anyway, this Professor I know... He's a squib... That's someone from a magical family born without magic... Very rare... His name is Marius Black. He has access to extensive family records, both magical and muggle. I'll ask him to look into it."

Tom could hardly believe what he was hearing. Answers, at last?

"Thank you," he said, gratefully.

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The next term, Xeno told Tom what he had learned.

"You're descended from the founder of Slytherin House. You're the last living descendant, in fact. Even further, you have a blood connection to the Deathly Hallows."

"The Deathly What?" Tom wondered.

"Oh, I forgot," Xeno said. "You were raised by muggles, so you've never read our own fairy tales."

Xeno then told Tom the Tale of the Deathly Hallows, the story of three brothers given objects of power. He explained that there were those, called Questers, who believed the tale was a true story. Xeno's notorious grandfather was one such Quester. And, it seemed, Tom was descended from one of the three brothers. If the Deathly Hallows were united, those who weilded them would master Death, itself.

"We have to find them," Tom said.

Alice had told him he had the potential to change the world. He now knew his destiny, why he was put on this Earth. Xeno had told him of the situation his own grandfather had caused, that had plunged muggle Europe into war. Shortly, as the bombs that fell on London testified, wizards were no longer safe from the muggles and their weapons. Diagon Alley suffered some major damage during the air raids.

"We have all this power," Xeno told him, "all this magic, and we're doing nothing. The air, water, and land are being poisoned, we're being bombed, and we're doing nothing."

"We will do something, you and I", Tom said, with determination.

Yes, they would change the world. They would create a paradise. And, with the Deathly Hallows, they would master Death. No child would have to suffer as Tom had, as an orphan. Tom and Xeno would bring Deathlessness to the masses.

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Tom and Xeno made plans, and researched. They were also, unfortunately, having disagreements during their fifth year at Hogwarts. It seemed Xeno wasn't approving of some of the methods Tom suggested in bringing about their new world.

"There's a muggle saying," Tom said. "You can't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs."

"Said by Robespierre, if I remember correctly," Xeno replied. "The Reign of Terror didn't create a better world."

"This is for the greater good, Xeno," Tom said.

"That's what my grandfather always says," said Xeno.

Each was certain the other would come around, though, as they celebrated Tom's 16th birthday. Tom had been invited to spend the Christmas holidays with Xeno's family, the Lovegoods, near Oxford. Since Tom's birthday was New Year's Eve, that would be celebrated there, too. Xeno was the best of friends, Tom thought. Then, he thought of his very first friend. He missed her...

Tom was talking about his seventh birthday as he and Xeno walked towards the woods at twilight. Tom was the first to notice the mist.

"Xeno," Tom said, "you wanted to meet the Fae. I think you're about to."

Sure enough, Tom saw the dancing lights, again. He was about to urge caution, but Xeno was drawn like a moth to the flame, just as Tom had been, years before.

"Xeno, wait!" Tom ordered. But, Xeno followed the lights. Tom followed Xeno, protective of his friend. As before, it was soon much too warm for Winter, and Tom knew they had crossed over into a fairyland. Was he back in...?

"Hello," a melodic female voice said from above them.

Tom looked up, and perched on a branch... It wasn't her. Though, the fae did look much like his Queen, blonde and petite. She had, however, large, silver, moonlike eyes that reflected the light. A true full blood Sidhe, Tom realized.

"Hello," Xeno greeted the Sidhe. "My name is Xeno. My quiet friend is Tom."

"I'm Morgan," the Sidhe replied, gracefully jumping down from the branch.

Xeno was enthralled, Tom thought. He was about to try to snap Xeno out of it when he heard another female voice behind him.

"Hello, Tom. It's been too long," the voice said.

Tom spun around. It was Alice, only looking older, Tom's own age.

"Come," she commanded. "We have a lot of catching up to do."

"But," Tom said, "my friend is enchanted by your friend."

"Then we should give them some privacy," Queen Alice said, with an impish grin. She took his hand, and Tom knew the heat he was feeling wasn't entirely from the actual temperature.

"You're... beautiful," he told her as they walked.

"You're rather pretty, yourself," she replied.

"You're also older," he said.

"Aren't we all?" she asked.

"Yes," he said, "but... When I first visited Wonderland, you still looked seven, despite being there for..."

"I can look whatever age I wish," she answered. "You wanted me that age, then. I think you prefer me like this, now." Her grin had become much like that Cheshire Cat of hers.

Tom intended to resist, he really did. But, he felt the monster in his trousers beginning to rise. With the usual perfect timing, they came across a magically clear pond, enchanted as the one from years before was.

"I think it's time for another swim," Alice said, as she disrobed, and stepped into the water.

Now, Tom was feeling far too hot for his clothes, and the monster in his trousers was raging to be freed. So, he complied, and joined Alice in the cool pond.

This was, he realized, an even better birthday than his seventh one.

----------------------------------------

After, they talked. They spoke of many things.

"Will you accept my invitation to stay with me in Wonderland as my Consort?" she asked him.

"No," he told her, regretfully. "I have so much to do in the world."

"You can do it with me," she told him.

"No, I... can't be your Consort, your subject," he said.

"You wouldn't be my subject, but my King, ruling beside me," she told him.

"The world needs me more than you do," he said. "It's suffering, and things will only get worse. Humanity is destroying itself. I have to do something..."

"I know," she said. "The Fae have long foreseen this. We're going to change the world, but these things take time. But, we can plan, long term. I want you with me when we do."

"I wouldn't be your equal, if I accepted your offer like that," he said.

"Tom," she said with worry in her voice, "I know what you intend to do... It's not worth it. It will destroy you, just as surely as you'll destroy others. That is what Evil does."

"You're sounding like Xeno," Tom said, annoyed. Why did those he loved always have to argue with him?

"Then you should listen to him," she said, "if you won't listen to me."

"You're the true Queen of Hearts," he said. "Despite everything you've seen, despite what we just did, you're still the innocent, loving, Anglican girl that fell down the rabbit hole."

"What we just did was an act of love," she replied.

Yes, he knew, it was. He loved her, and she loved him. But, she was too compassionate to do what needed to be done. And he couldn't be her equal if immortality was given to him by her grace. He needed to achieve Godhood, himself, to truly match her, to be her balance, to be the Red King to her White Queen.

Leaving her again was the hardest decision he had ever made.

----------------------------------------

But, Tom's mind was set. When he and Xeno returned to Hogwarts, he set his plans into motion. He'd kept secrets from Xeno, since he knew Xeno would strongly object to what he was about to do. One of these secrets was a chamber deep within Hogwarts. Tom sent the basilisk within to attack students, eventually killing one of them. After that, the attacks had to stop, of course, to prevent the closure of Hogwarts. Hogwarts was, to Tom, his home. Fortunately, he'd already chosen a scapegoat, a half giant Gryffindor, to take the blame.

Now, you may wonder, knowing the consequences to the school if a student died, why Tom unleashed the basilisk in the first place. It was simply a means to an end. Tom had learned of a path to preserve his life called Horcruxes, which would just cost him pieces of his soul. Creating a Horcrux required an act of murder, which split one's soul, thus allowing one to place a portion of it within an object.

His first murder was the hardest. He had nightmares leading up to it. He told himself, though, that it was for the greater good, the ends would ultimately justify the means. He needed to be strong.

He was successful in creating his first Horcrux. That night, though, he had a visitor, a crumple-horned snorkack. It looked at him accusingly before disappearing. He could never explain why that visitation gave him a sense of dread. He developed a phobia about the creature, afterward.

That summer, Tom found his muggle father and grandparents, and killed them. He framed his wizard uncle for the crimes, gaining the Deathly Hallow that had been in his family's possession, the Resurrection Stone. He bound it to himself by making the ring in which it was set a Horcrux. He never told Xeno of this, since Xeno would never understand, being weak with compassion. Just like Alice.

Losing bits of his soul, Tom discovered, made things much easier. Tom never used the Stone to contact the dead, but he found it very useful to create an army of inferi, the living dead, to guard yet another Horcrux.

Besides, what need did he have for his Ravenclaw friend when he could surround himself with those who worshpped him, who never questioned him? One difference between Slytherins and Gryffindors, Tom noticed, was, while they both sought glory, while they were both arrogant, while they were both utterly ruthless in pursuing their goals, while they both put so much importance in Houses and bloodlines, the Slytherins were up front about it. Dumbledore and most Gryffindors believed in the superiority of Houses and specific bloodlines, though they denied it. It showed in their actions. They were also very quick to use the darkest magics when it suited them, as much as any Slytherin. They were simply self rightous about it, deciding that if they did it, it was good. Such hypocricy sickened Tom. No, Tom decided, there was no good or evil, only power and those too weak to seek it.

So, he sought. He understood the power of names, and changed his own to one the Wizarding world would come to fear, Lord Voldemort.

Losing his soul was so freeing...

-----------------------------------------

Many years later, Queen Alice visited him one fateful Halloween night.

Everything was coming together. There had been a prophecy that warned him of the one threat to his plans. Very nicely, he'd be able to eliminate this threat while it was a mere year old, and gain another of the Deathly Hallows in the process, as one just happened to be in the possession of the family he was about to destroy.

He chose this night because of his old, now long lost, friends. He sent Xeno a letter.

He had put in place the most advanced magical defenses to keep out unwelcome visitors. He wasn't surprised that Alice passed them. But then, she wasn't unwelcome. He was pleased that she appeared on the night of what would be his greatest triumph.

"Did Morgan summon you?" he asked.

"She and Xeno were rather... surprised by your letter," she replied.

"They don't appreciate my gift in celebration of their daughter's first birthday?" he asked. "What better gift for a young moon goddess than a blood sacrifice?"

"It's not a blood sacrifice if there's no blood," Alice replied. "Besides, we left that practice behind a long time ago."

"No one appreciates the classics, anymore," he said with an exaggerated sigh. "It's no one they know."

"That doesn't matter," Alice said. "Besides, you don't think I'd want my goddaughter's birthday tainted by this, do you?"

"You're Luna's godmother?" he asked in surprise. "Congratulations." He was genuinely pleased. That surprised him, too. For all his power, he'd found so little to please him, of late.

"Don't do this, please," she said.

Tom replied: "Do not think that I came to bring peace on the earth; I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I came to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; and a man’s enemies will be the members of his household. He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me; and he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me. He who has found his life will lose it, and he who has lost his life for My sake will find it."

"You really think you're that?" Alice asked.

"We are what we choose to be," Tom replied. "You taught me that. If you can be a modern Goddess, I can be a God. It's simply a matter of finding that within yourself, and not letting others limit you. I will deliver my people..."

"I've met an incarnation of that particular aspect of the Divine, you know," she told him. "He was in the form of a lion. Very interesting neighbors Wonderland had. But trust me, you're not Him. You have no idea, anymore, what He was truly about. Again, don't do this."

"The truce between Fae and Wizard prevents you from interfering," he pointed out. "So, what makes you think you can deter me?"

"I'll try appealing to your reason, if you haven't lost most of that along with your soul," she said, bitterly.

"Ah, and how am I being unreasonable?" he asked. "Really, I'm doing your goddaughter a favor. Besides, I must do this. There's a prophecy."

"There's always a prophecy," Alice replied. "Prophesies can be averted."

"That's what I'm going to do," Tom said. "So, again, how am I being unreasonable?"

"You can always walk away from this," she told him. "I suggest you do."

"Really?" he asked. "Did you know you were my inspiration? When I learned that it was possible to split a soul..."

"Yes, I knew", she interrupted. "And my soul was never truly split, just... in different planes for a while. I saw the potential in you when I met you. I knew you'd be a great wizard, for good or bad. I wanted it to be for good..."

"Naturally," he interrupted her interruption. "You still see things in those terms... Very limiting..."

"Enlightened would be my term," she said. "But, my point is that we see something, and in trying to prevent it, will often bring it about."

"You expect me to believe that you're wanting to save me?" he asked, his anger growing.

"That's part of what I'm trying to do, yes," she answered.

"Am I not a lost cause already, according to your beliefs?" he asked.

"According to my beliefs, redemption is never a lost cause," she answered. "But, that's not what I'm warning you of, here. Prophesies tend to be cryptic, you know."

"This one sounds rather clear cut," he replied. "But, I thank you for your concern. And, I expect you to be gone when I return."

With that, he left the last thing that made him human, and to his eyes weak, behind.

She wasn't there when he returned. Of course, it would be many years before he did. He did misunderstand what appeared to be a clear cut prophesy, after all, and it cost him dearly.

He would always be haunted by her, though. The night he restored himself to a human body several years after the Halloween disaster, he made a point of having the ritual performed in a graveyard, because Folklore suggested that the Fae avoided those places. He kept iron objects with him at all times, lest she pay him another visit.

He even feared the crumple-horned snorkack.

--------------------------------------------

Multi-Crossover HP Fic - Fairy Tales: Fata Morgana - Chapter 3: Man and Beast

ebailey140@aol.com — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 21:29:26 GMT

Title: Fairy Tales: Fata Morgana
Chapter 3: Man and Beast
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Same as the first, plus Peter Pan created by J. M. Barrie.
Summary: Hermione during the final year of the war with Voldemort, and what she learns along the way.

"A beast does not know that he is a beast, and the nearer a man gets to being a beast, the less he knows it."

-George MacDonald

--------------------------------------------

The next time Hermione saw Luna was at the wedding.

Ron's oldest brother, Bill, was marrying Fleur. Hermione wondered if this was really a good time for a wedding, given the war. The Weasleys were publicly known as enemies of Voldemort, and a wedding seemed to be an open invitation to a massacre. Still, the Weasleys insisted. Hermione suspected the reason for the rush was Bill and Fleur still slept in separate beds. She'd known Gryffindors were rather conservative from her interactions with the Weasleys. Who used terms like "scarlet woman" anymore? No wonder Gryffindors married so young.

Hermione, Harry, and Ron had already had a close call with Voldemort and his Death Eaters when the Order of the Phoenix, Dumbledore's personal army, escorted them from the home of Harry's aunt and uncle, where Harry had grown up. Harry's aunt and uncle hated witches and wizards, so it had been traumatic for Harry to grow up there, with them and their bullying, spoiled, son. Hermione thought such an upbringing left emotional scars on Harry just as much as Voldemort had left a physical one. She didn't think the damage was as bad as Luna did, though.

Dumbledore had insisted, despite everything, that Harry had to grow up there, due to some sort of blood magic protection Harry had received from his mother sacrificing her life for him, the magic that had caused Voldemort's earlier downfall when the killing curse meant for Harry backfired on him.

Still, Hermione wondered why someone with Dumbledore's power and resources couldn't find another way. She assured herself, though, that Albus Dumbledore was wise and good, and that whatever he decided was for the best. Harry followed Dumbledore without question, after all, and he was the one who suffered at the hands of his relatives. So, who was Hermione to question Dumbledore's goals or methods?

Hermione had made the final break from her own blood family. To protect them, she came up with an idea, and Professor McGonagall instructed her on how to do it. She magically altered her parents' memories, making them forget they had a daughter, making them forget who they even were. With the Order's help, they were relocated to the other side of the world, with magically created names and memories.

Hermione was glad she'd been distancing herself emotionally from her parents over the previous few years. That made what she had to do easier. She shook off the guilt she momentarily felt. It was, after all, for the greater good.

----------------------------------------------

Luna arrived wearing a sun colored dress, matching her golden hair, which, in turn, was decorated with a large golden sunflower. Like so many times before, there was something familiar to Hermione about Luna, but, again like so many times before, she couldn't place it. Luna's father was with her, wearing matching colors.

So, this was the mysterious Xenophilus Lovegood that Luna was so devoted to, the publisher and editor of the Quibbler. He wasn't what Hermione was expecting. Of course, Hermione had no idea what to expect. He was, she observed, one of those people who seemed ageless. His hair was long and white, but his skin unwrinkled. He was also wearing a strange symbol, obviously mystical in origin, that angered Viktor Krum, a friend of Hermione's.

Harry had used a polyjuice potion to disguise himself, knowing that Death Eaters were hunting him. Luna recognized him, anyway.

Hermione and Luna chatted for a bit, discussing the gnome that had bitten Luna's finger.

"They're different in the Fairylands, you know," Luna told her.

"No, actually I didn't know, but I'd like to learn more," Hermione replied. While Hermione didn't believe most of the stories Luna told about strange creatures, she knew Luna would know about the Fairylands. Her mother was from one, after all. Luna had likely visited a few, herself.

"They're bigger, for one thing. Quite nasty in some of them. They're especially troublesome in Oz, for example..."

Oz...

"Wrackspurt have you, Hermione?"

"Hmm?"

"You zoned out for a moment."

"Oh... I'm OK... I'm back."

"Good, because I'd hate for you to miss anything. Where were you, momentarily?"

"I'm not sure..."

Luna gazed deeply into Hermione's eyes, as if looking for something.

"Hmm..." she finally said. "I suspect you've fallen victim of a Ministry conspiracy."

"No, I'm sure I..."

"We'll talk, later, after the wedding."

----------------------------------------

They wouldn't have the opportunity, as it turned out.

The wedding ceremony itself went without a hitch. Hermione was concerned Ginny would cause problems. Not only was she jealous of Fleur's affect on Harry, but she was actually being jealous of Fleur's younger sister Gabrielle, afraid Harry would run off with her. Gabrielle was only 11, 12 at the most, hardly someone for Ginny to be concerned about.

Hermione noticed the wording in marriage ceremonies in the Wizarding world was different than what she was used to. It sounded a great deal like an Unbreakable Vow, which was fatal to those who took it and broke it. That explained the lack of divorces in the Wizarding world, Hermione though. She wondered if breaking from the muggle world completely had been a good idea, after all. Now, she couldn't insist on a muggle ceremony if she married Ron.

But, right after, the Death Eater attack Hermione had worried about finally came. They would have been there sooner, but they were tied up overrunning the Ministry of Magic and taking it over.

The Trio escaped, and searched for Voldemort's Horcruxes. Much happened during that, including learning that Godric Gryffindor's sword that Dumbledore had left to Harry in his will had been stolen by the Hogwarts founder from the goblins, who wanted it back. Harry promised to return it to them when he finished using it to destroy Horcruxes.

Dumbledore had left Hermione something, too. Ironically, it was a book of fairy tales. Hermione sighed. Of all the things to leave her...

It turned out have a purpose, though, something they learned from Xeno Lovegood. One of the stories was about objects called the Deathly Hallows, given to three brothers. They were the Elder Wand, the most powerful wand in the world; the Stone of Resurrection that had... well... the power of resurrection; and the Cloak of Invisibility, which was more powerful and longer lasting than most invisibility cloaks. Some believed the story to be based on truth. They called themselves Questers, and wore a symbol to identify themselves to each other, the symbol Xeno wore to the wedding. Viktor had mistaken it for a symbol representing the Dark Wizard Grindelwald because Grindelwald, being a Quester, had often used it.

So, the Trio began searching for the Hallows in addition to the Horcruxes. One ended up being far closer than they thought, the invisibility cloak Harry had inherited from his father. What an amazing coincidence, Hermione thought.

When she later mentioned that to Luna, Luna said there was no coincidence, only synchronicity.

They'd been reunited with Luna while captured by Death Eaters. They, along with Ginny's artist ex-boyfriend Dean Thomas, the wand maker Mr. Ollivander, and a goblin from Gringotts escaped and stayed for a while with Bill and Fleur at Shell Cottage, their home. Space being rather tight, Hermione and Luna shared a room, and a rather small bed, during their stay. Hermione wasn't comfortable, at first, with Luna's fondness for cuddling, but at least she convinced the girl to wear something to bed, since, Hermione quickly learned, Luna usually wore nothing to sleep. Fleur was far too amused with Hermione's discomfort when she was explaining the problem.

Still, it was nice having a girl as a friend that she could talk to. She'd spent her nights at the Burrow with Ginny, but Ginny wasn't much for conversation. Hermione loved Harry like a brother, but quickly tired of night after night, week after week, year after year, of Ginny just wanting to talk about the fabulous Boy Who Lived, and wanting advice on how to get him to notice her.

There was something she needed to ask Luna, though, remembering their conversation at the wedding, and the warning about Luna that Dumbledore had given her.

"Luna, this is a strange question, I know, and it might be a bit personal..." she began, one night.

"All right..."

"Someone... said something..."

"People say a lot."

"Yes, but... It was about you."

"All right... What do you want to know?"

"Are... you a Legilimens?"

Luna paused.

"That would be the term Wizards use, I suppose," she finally answered.

"What do you mean?"

"I see it more as empathy. I got it from my mother's side of the family."

"Ah. You can just... naturally do it?"

"It's... not so much something I do, exactly..."

"You're not performing a spell, then?"

"No... It's a sense... Like seeing and hearing and touching... I thought everyone had it, until Daddy explained otherwise. I thought people were just being mean, not caring about others, until he explained that most people don't... feel what others feel. Daddy says that's not really an excuse for how people treat people a lot of the time, but I understood a little better."

"No, it's not an excuse. But, what you do is something we have to learn, and only witches and wizards can do it."

"I disagree."

"But, it's magic. Muggles can't do magic."

"Everyone has at least some of what... we... call magic, Hermione. But one doesn't need to wave a wand or speak an incantation to show some sensitivity. One just needs to be more... open than most people allow themselves to be."

"That can get you hurt."

"Yes... But, one has to be open to pain if one is to be open to joy and beauty. Take Dean, for example... He's very sensitive, but don't tell him I said that," Luna said, smiling.

Hermione wondered why she'd never noticed that about Dean, until now. She suspected Ginny never noticed.

"But, the extent that you show it... It's a Fae thing?"

"It's a sense we've never lost, yes."

"Have you ever been to a Fairyland?" she asked Luna.

"Yes. Several. My mother's from one, you know."

"I heard. One close to the Burrow..."

"She lived in a few, actually. That's the one she settled in."

"How many are there?"

"A lot. Some are fairly new, like Wonderland."

"Wonderland?!! It's real?!!"

"Oh, yes. Didn't you know? I thought everyone knew about Wonderland."

"They do, but... I thought it was... fictional."

"The Ministry made certain that the muggles thought that, when they couldn't prevent it's existence becoming known."

"Ah... Is Neverland real, too?"

"Of course," Luna said, smiling. "That's where my first boyfriend was from."

"Your first boyfriend?" Surely, she couldn't be talking about...

"Oh yes. I was very young, at the time, of course. Wonderful boy, very heroic, always looking for adventure... But he just wouldn't grow up."

Luna paused, before continuing...

"Harry reminds me a lot of him."

---------------------------------------

Hermione noticed, after, that Luna and Dean had become rather close. She thought it strange, at first, the muggleborn Gryffindor football fan and Luna. But, she remembered, Dean was an artist, and Harry had told her that Luna was quite a gifted painter, herself. Dean was also a gentleman, and, despite how Harry and Ginny had treated him, held no grudge, even asking about Ginny's well being.

Eventually, the final battle with Voldemort came, and all the Hallows came into use. They were victorious, but not without cost. Many lives were lost, including one of Ron's brothers, Fred. They lost Remus Lupin and Nymphadora Tonks, who'd just had a baby, a son they named Theodore, after his grandfather on his mother's side, who'd been lost to the war just months before. They'd asked Harry to be the baby's godfather.

Now, the boy was an orphan, just as Harry had been. At least Teddy still had his grandmother, who would raise him.

Molly didn't consider that an advantage for the boy.

It seemed the woman, Andromeda Black-Tonks, was rather notorious. There were all sorts of rumors...

Hermione remembered how, during the previous year, Nymphadora spent a lot of time at the Burrow, talking with Molly. Hermione wondered what was said between them. Whatever it was, Molly acted almost as a surrogate mother to Nymphadora, and now she was very insistent that Harry have a hand in raising Nymphadora's child.

"That boy will need you, Harry. He'll need us. He'll need a good influence," she told him.

"Isn't his grandmother one?" Harry asked.

"She's a Slytherin, Harry, and a Black."

"Sirius was a Black."

"Sirius was also a Gryffindor. Trust me, the apple didn't fall far from the tree in Andromeda's case."

"But she married a muggleborn."

"Yes... She didn't go for her family's views on blood. Pretty famous for disproving it, in fact. But... She's still a dark witch. Before she left the Blacks, she was taught by... Him."

No need to ask who "Him" was.

Harry had briefly experienced Death, himself, sort of. He even caught a glimpse of Voldemort's soul in the Afterlife... even though the Dark Lord wasn't dead, yet. Harry smiled as he described the malformed infant in pain that he saw. There was a great cheer from the victors...

...Except for Luna. She looked horrified.

----------------------------------------

Hermione had worried about what they would do once the war ended, if they survived. After all, she, Harry, and Ron were dropouts. There was nothing they would be qualified for.

She needn't have worried, she soon learned. Kingsley Shacklebot, Auror, Order member, and Gryffindor, had been placed in charge of rebuilding the Ministry. One of his first acts as Minister was to offer Harry and Ron a place in the Aurors, and Hermione a position as an Unspeakable in the Department of Mysteries, a last request of Albus Dumbledore that Kingsley was happy to oblige.

Hermione and Harry happily accepted. Ron, to everyone's surprise, did not. He decided that his brother George needed him more than the Aurors. While Fred's death had hit the Weasleys hard, George had been hit the hardest, since Fred was his twin. Ron would help George run the joke shop he and Fred had founded.

Ron surprised her even more with what he did next. He proposed. Hermione surprised herself by immediately accepting.

Harry was thrilled when she told him the news.

"That's great!" he said. "We can have a double wedding!"

What? Who was Harry marrying?

"It'll be great, you and Ron, and me and Ginny... We'll be Weasleys, really part of this big family, what I've always wanted!"

"Wait... Harry, back up a bit... You're marrying Ginny?!!!"

"Yes!"

"Harry, are you sure? You barely know each other..."

"What do you mean? We were snogging for weeks, last year!"

"OK Harry... If you know her so well, name some of her friends."

"Oh, come on... There's you, and Neville, and Luna..."

"We're YOUR friends, Harry. She just knows us because of you and Ron!"

"I wouldn't call Luna much of a friend, these days..."

"How can you say that?"

"She's giving me a hard time... She's saying I shouldn't use Unforgivables... And, you saw her reaction when I said what happened to Voldemort's soul."

"Luna's sensitive, OK?"

"Too sensitive... I crucioed a Death Eater. What's the big deal?"

The Cruciatus Curse, one of the three Unforgivable Curses, considered so dark that their use can get one thrown in Azkaban Prison. She'd seen Harry use the Imperius Curse, which controlled others, but there were circumstances, there. He'd never used the Killing Curse, but others on their side did, including Molly. But McGonagall had told them to do it, regardless of the damage it does to one's soul. She wondered what the circumstances were for Harry using the Cruciatus Curse, which is solely for torture, and slowly drives it's victims insane.

"Ah... Why'd you do that?" she asked.

"He SPAT at Professor McGonagall! So I HAD to crucio him! Professor McGonagall told me I was gallant for using it. But Luna... She just told me it was wrong! That it wasn't necessary!" He continued, in a mocking imitation of Luna's dreamy way of speaking, "A stunner would have served just as well, Harry, and there wouldn't have been all that screaming and thrashing about... There's a reason they're called Unforgivables, Harry... You have to enjoy torturing people for a Crucio to work, Harry..."

"That's... true, actually..."

"OK, so I enjoyed it! Who does she think she is to judge ME? I'M the Chosen One! Thank God I have Ginny... She's not upset about poor Voldemort and the Death Eaters. She's strong. She's not sappy and emotional like Luna and Cho..."

"Luna's one of the strongest people I know. You even thought she could handle Azkaban and the dementors... She even saved YOU from dementors, remember?"

"Look, forget about Luna... I'm just glad I found Ginny. She never questions me, never judges me... And, she gives me such a good time..."

"Harry... Marriage is a commitment, not just having a good time. Are you sure you really love Ginny?"

"Of course, I'm sure! She's hot! She's the most popular girl in school! And the way she kisses... And she's a Weasley! She'll have a perfect dinner waiting for me when I get home from a long day at the Ministry, just like her mom... And we'll have lots of kids..."

Hermione finally understood why she fell for Ron instead of Harry.

"She has another year at Hogwarts, Harry. Ron and I... We want to get married before she's out."

"What's she need another year at Hogwarts for? It's not like she'll ever need to work. I'm rich."

"Did she know you planned for her to drop out when you proposed? When did you propose, anyway?"

Harry smirked.

"I haven't, yet. I need you to help me pick a ring... I don't know about this stuff, but you're a girl..."

"Harry, I can't BELIEVE you, right now!"

"Don't start sounding like Luna, Hermione," he said, warningly.

What had gotten into him? And when?

Hermione loved Harry like a brother, but she dearly hoped Ginny would tell him where to stick his proposal. Ginny disappointed her, there. Hermione wished she could say she was surprised.

The big event came. Everyone was invited. Luna didn't show. Neither did Dean.

After the Honeymoon, Hermione went to see Luna, to ask her why.

"Harry didn't want me there. Neither did Ginny. And her mother... Dean decided if I wasn't welcome, he wasn't."

Hermione couldn't believe it. After all they'd been through together...

"You and Harry..." Hermione began, trying to understand... "You had a bond. I saw it. Everyone saw it."

"Yes," Luna said, sadly. "For a time, yes."

"You could reach him when no one else could, not even me. And, he understood you..."

"Yes, for a time."

"What happened? What did I miss?"

"I believe the muggle term would be that he started believing his own press."

"What?!! Harry's always been too humble for that."

"Until the last couple of years, yes he was. He had so little faith in himself. He found it, but I'm afraid he went a bit overboard with it... When the Prophet started calling him the Chosen One, and he became what the muggles call the Big Man On Campus... When everyone was telling him how wonderful and good he was, no matter what he did..."

"He IS wonderful and good... Usually..."

"But, he doesn't recognize your 'usually'. He thinks everything he does is OK, even if it's something he condemns when others do it."

Hermione wanted to protest, but... She remembered Harry's reaction in their sixth year at Hogwarts when she and Ron were upset with him for, in a moment of utter ignorance and stupidity, using a dark curse on Draco Malfoy that carved him up and nearly killed him. Professor Snape gave him Detention. Harry thought it was such an unfair punishment because he wouldn't be able to play Quidditch for Gryffindor. He'd nearly killed a fellow student, and would have been in much worse trouble if Snape hadn't arrived in time to save Draco's life, and he was upset because he'd miss a Quidditch match.

Ginny tore into her and Ron for daring to criticize Harry.

Hermione remembered what Dumbledore had told her about some being the Elect, that the actions of the Elect were not to be judged as they would be for those not part of the Elect.

"I worry about him," Luna said, sadly. "He has so much in common with Tom Riddle, and..."

Tom Riddle... the boy who became Lord Voldemort.

"Luna... Harry will never be like that. I know he can be... unkind, as you would say... But, everything he's done... He KNOWS he has a lot in common with Voldemort. He used to worry about it... But, he's used that to guide himself, to NOT be like him..."

"Hermione... Remember when I told you that the truth is often found in fairy tales?"

"Yes, and the Deathly Hallows proved it."

"It's usually a little less... direct than that. Sometimes you have to look for the higher truth in the story. I'm going to tell you a fairy tale. It was told to me by my father and godmother. I call it... 'How the Crumple-Horned Snorkack Got It's Name'..."

---------------------------------------------

Multi-Crossover HP Fic - Fairy Tales: Fata Morgana - Chapter 2: Hermione Granger's School Days

ebailey140@aol.com — Thu, 06 Sep 2007 15:12:50 GMT

Title: Fairy Tales: Fata Morgana
Chapter 2: Hermione Granger's School Days
Rating: Still PG-13, though that might change.
Disclaimer: Same as in the first part.
A/N: The scouting program of the Department of Mysteries comes from Kaskait. See that and other interesting ideas on her livejournal. The pixie problem in Ottery-St-Catchpole is based on a legend about the town of Ottery-St-Mary, on which the town near the Burrow was based.

"Hogwarts, Hogwarts, Hoggy Warty Hogwarts
Teach us something please,
Whether we be old and bald
Or young with scabby knees,
Our heads could do with filling
With some interesting stuff,
For now they're bare and full of air,
Dead flies and bits of fluff,
So teach us things worth knowing,
Bring back what we forgot,
Just do your best, we'll do the rest
And learn until our brains all rot."

-J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone

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All was well.

That's what Hermione Weasley's best friend Harry Potter had told her.

She envied his naiveness.

No, all was not bloody well. But, she couldn't tell him that, not yet. Even though he was her oldest friend, and Head of the Auror Department, she couldn't say anything until the Aurors "needed to know". Even though it was their job to deal with the dark magical threats to the wizarding world. Even though the rising storm that was about to break was coming from someone who was once a friend.

She couldn't even tell her husband, Ron.

Such were the duties of an Unspeakable.

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She'd always been... different, as far back as she could remember. She never felt she really belonged in the world she was born into. She never quite fit in, no matter how hard she tried, always too curious, too thoughtful, too... whatever to belong. Then, there were the... things that tended to happen around her, unusual things, things for which there were no logical explanations. And, Hermione always wanted logical explanations.

Her best friends for years had been books.

She was an avid reader. She read anything and everything, absorbing books like a sponge. Her favorites, for a time, were fairy tales. Her parents would read her bedtime stories, and she would be fascinated by the far off magical lands, with their heroes, princesses, and monsters. Being such a smart girl, she learned to read, very quickly. Her parents bought her the Oz books by L. Frank Baum, knowing she'd love them.

And love them she did. While she had no one her age she could really consider a true friend in the real world, she found one in the books' heroine, Dorothy Gale, a girl that, like Hermione, was clever, curious, and, in so many ways, alone. Hermione imagined herself accompanying Dorothy on her many adventures to the Fairylands, meeting all the friends Dorothy met there. Dorothy had to return home to her family, of course, and so did Hermione.

Then, one night, everything changed.

Hermione was 7, reading the sixth book in the series, The Emerald City of Oz. She'd just finished the chapter where Dorothy decided to bring her family to Oz, and live there permanently. Hermione sighed, happy for Dorothy.

"If I could only visit you there," Hermione whispered.

A rather intense storm had suddenly risen that night, Hermione remembered.

That was about all she could remember.

The next morning, she woke up with absolutely no interest in continuing with the books. The very idea she found absolutely repulsive. This was just as well, because her books had disappeared.

Fairy stories were behind her, now. No, she had no interest in that silly nonsense. What was important was the real world, what could be seen and touched and explained. Nothing else mattered.

Only problem was, strange things still happened around her, things that had no logical explanation.

An explanation finally arrived when she was 11, though it was hardly logical. A letter arrived for her one day delivered by, of all things, an owl. It was an invitation to attend a school for magic, called Hogwarts. Strange...

Even stranger, her parents didn't seem remotely surprised. They told her someone would be visiting that would explain everything. That someone was a witch, who her parents introduced as Miss Croaker.

A real witch.

Hermione found it all hard to believe, even after a demonstration. The evidence before her was conclusive, however. It did explain the strange things she'd experienced. Hermione was informed that she, too, was a witch, and that there was a whole culture of people like her. She'd attend Hogwarts and learn how to use her gifts.

She learned that there were some families that had been witches and wizards for many generations. Hermione realized she'd be quite behind many of the other kids. So, she did what she'd always done, and read up as much as she could. By the time she was to start her first term, she knew more than most of the other new students, even those from magical families.

She also learned of the House system at Hogwarts, four Houses that were centered around specific traits. Her parents suggested she'd be a natural Ravenclaw, given her intelligence. However, the Headmaster, Albus Dumbledore, had been a Gryffindor, the House that valued bravery above all things. She had read a bit about Dumbledore, his reported brilliance, his heroism during a war against the Dark Wizard Grindelwald, and decided that Gryffindor must be her House.

Students were sorted by a talking hat. The hat was about to put her in Ravenclaw, when Hermione insisted on Gryffindor.

It was in Gryffindor that she finally made real friends, two boys named Harry Potter and Ron Weasley. Ron was from a very large family, and felt insecure about measuring up to his older brothers, three of which were there at Hogwarts. Harry was rather famous, due to an incident when he was a year old. A dark wizard had sought to conquer the wizarding world. He was known as Lord Voldemort, though most feared to use his name. He had systematically slaughtered all who opposed him, until he came to Harry's family. He killed the baby's parents, but something strange happened when he tried to kill the boy. His curse backfired. A war that had been raging for ten years ended, just like that. Or so it seemed...

As Hermione learned during that first year at Hogwarts, Voldemort wasn't quite dead.

Not only wasn't he dead, he was looking to regain his power, and was rather fixated on Harry. Hermione, Harry, and Ron would wind up spending much of their school years fighting Voldemort's various schemes. A lot happened along the way.

For one thing, she met the Weasleys, Ron's family. She quite liked them, which was a good thing because of something else that happened. It seemed she had gained the attention of the Department of Mysteries.

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It was before the start of her third year at Hogwarts that Hermione received a surprise letter from Professor Dumbledore, requesting a private meeting to discuss her future career. She'd hadn't thought, at such a young age, about possible career plans as a witch. As far as she knew, no one planned their careers that early. She was very curious, and a meeting was arranged.

"Have you ever heard of the Department of Mysteries?" Dumbledore asked her.

Of course, Hermione had already learned as much as she could about this most mysterious of Departments in the Ministry of Magic, the Government of magical Britain. Problem was, there wasn't much available for her to learn. The Department of Mysteries lived up to it's name. Even most within the Ministry didn't know what they did.

So, she was very surprised when Dumbledore began telling her, a 13 year old Hogwarts student, about it.

The Department of Mysteries was the intelligence community of the wizarding world, their activities kept secret from the general populace. Those who were part of it were called Unspeakables. They studied the most ancient and mysterious of magics, the magic difficult to understand and almost impossible to control. They also kept the darkest forces in check.

"But, isn't that what the Aurors do?" Hermione asked.

"The Aurors are our most elite law enforcers, yes. But, there are more dangerous things than dark wizards out there."

"More dangerous than... You-Know-Who?"

"Yes... As dangerous as Lord Voldemort is, there are things beyond even him."

"Then, why aren't we told about them?"

Dumbledore sighed, his eyes, for a moment, those of someone who had seen too much over his long life.

"You've seen how Lord Voldemort frightens our people into a panic just with his name. Imagine how people would react to knowing there are far more dangerous things in the world. There is so much of our history most are better off not knowing"

Hermione had noticed a distinct lack of a sense of history in the wizarding world. Sure, they learned History of Magic, but she always knew something vital was missing. Now, it was like a door opening, an opportunity to truly learn, to understand. But...

"Then... Why are you telling me all this?" she asked.

"The Department of Mysteries needs the best minds to run it," Dumbledore replied. "They seek potential candidates, early. I've convinced them that you should be considered."

"Well... It's a bit early for me to choose a career..."

"Many who've been part of the scouting program have chosen other paths. I did, myself. But, even those who've chosen another path have found what they learned very beneficial."

Hermione noticed a slight twitch when Dumbledore said that. She had a very good idea who another candidate was. Still, she was curious. This could be a once in a lifetime opportunity.

"What do I have to do?" she asked.

"You have to earn twelve OWLs. Then, high scores on your NEWTs. After that, there's a vigorous screening process."

OWLs, Hermione knew, were the tests taken during a Hogwarts student's fifth year, followed by NEWTs in their seventh.

"But, how can one possibly take twelve OWLs, let alone pass them? There's not enough hours to take that many classes."

Dumbledore smiled, and said: "As it happens, the Department of Mysteries has a method of doing just that."

"I don't know... That's a lot of classes..."

"It's one of the most important callings in our world. The Department of Mysteries usually scouts the Ravenclaws. But, it would be good to have a Gryffindor there..."

Well, that convinced her.

"Also, Miss Granger, you can tell your family nothing. In fact, it would be for the greater good if you distanced yourself from them, entirely. The less muggles know, the better."

She'd noticed she'd been a little distant from her parents, lately. They were what wizards called muggles, non-magical folk. But, to cut herself off from them, completely...

"They're my family."

"Yes, well... You like the Weasleys, do you not?"

The method of fitting all the subjects she'd require was called a Time Turner, which allowed her to be in two classes at once. She had to be very careful no one but those who absolutely had to know was aware she was doing this. She couldn't even tell Harry and Ron. But, as usual, there was Voldemort related danger, and she had to reveal the Time Turner to Harry so they could save the day, once again.

She returned the Time Turner after that adventure. She was worn out. She just couldn't keep up the pace, handle the pressure. She wouldn't be able to get those twelve OWLs.

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So, she spent the next summers with the Weasleys, only seeing her own family as briefly as possible. Ron's father, Arthur, worked for the Ministry and had an obsession with muggle gadgets, though he couldn't comprehend the functions of most of them, or even their names. Molly was the Mother Hen. Ron had no less than five older brothers, and one younger sister, Ginny. Ginny Weasley had one mission in life, and that was to marry the famous, and quite rich, Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived. Ron found this rather annoying, but Hermione thought it was cute. Ginny would grow out of it, Hermione was certain. Harry, for his part, was oblivious.

In her fifth year at Hogwarts, Hermione met a Ravenclaw in Ginny's year named Luna Lovegood. At last, a girl who, like herself, had a brain and interests besides gossip, fashion, and boys. Unfortunately, Luna made Hermione feel uneasy.

Hermione couldn't quite figure out what it was. She heard a great deal of gossip about Luna from Ginny, none of it good. Now, granted, Ginny's negative comments probably had a lot to do with Harry's interest in the Ravenclaw, but Hermione felt almost compelled to insult Luna to Harry, as well. Harry took exception, given that Luna was one of the few people supporting Harry during a Ministry smear campaign that was going on at the time. The Ministry just didn't want to acknowledge Voldemort was alive and at large, and Harry was inconveniencing them a great deal by talking about it. Ron and Hermione had been involved in Harry's adventures, so they knew Harry was telling the truth. Luna hadn't, but believed him, and openly supported him when few others would.

So, why was Luna bothering her so much? She was eccentric, sure. She was what they called an "outside the box" thinker. She cared little about what others thought of her, a determined individualist. She was driven by a deep faith. She was everything Hermione was not...

Or everything Hermione kept herself from being.

That was part of it, Hermione knew. But, it wasn't quite everything...

No, there was something familiar about Luna Lovegood, her eyes, her dreamy nature, something...

Why couldn't she remember?

What especially got to Hermione was the creatures Luna would insist existed, with names like the crumple-horned snorkack and the blibbering humdinger.

"Luna," she told her during one of their arguments on the subject, "you're believing in things that sound like they're from fairy tales!"

"There's a lot of truth in fairy tales, you know," Luna said, smiling serenely.

"Look, I loved fairy tales when I was little, but you have to put that nonsense aside!"

"Oh, I'm not saying the fairy tales have everything completely accurate. Stories go through a lot of changes as they're told and re-told. But... Fairy tales, fables, myths, legends, parables... They're all true. Some are even factual."

"Wait... How can they all be true but only some factual?"

"There's a higher truth. What is the story really saying?"

Hermione now had a headache. Bloody Ravenclaws...

"You're muggleborn, aren't you?" Luna asked.

"Yes. What does that have to do with anything?"

"What would you have said if someone had told you dragons and unicorns exist, before you got your Hogwarts letter?"

"Look... This is different!"

"How so?"

"I know dragons and unicorns exist! I've seen them!"

"And when you see the crumple-horned snorkack?"

"I'm not GOING to see the crumple-horned snorkack, because it doesn't EXIST! Ron's from a wizarding family, and HE says they don't exist."

"He'd also tell you the duck-billed platypus doesn't exist."

Well, yes, Hermione had to concede that one. Still, between Luna and her creatures, and Ginny still doing her Snow White impersonation, she was sick of fairy tales. She considered it fortunate that the Weasleys didn't have muggle things like DVD players. She didn't think she could stand Ginny singing "Someday My Prince Will Come."

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The end of the school year was yet another adventure, but the most significant one, yet. She, Harry, and Ron went to the Department of Mysteries itself, with Ginny, Luna, and Neville Longbottom. There, they fought the Death Eaters, and Harry learned of a prophecy about himself and Voldemort. The Ministry finally acknowledged Voldemort's return. They had no choice, really, since he waltzed right into the Ministry. Luna had really come through for them, fighting bravely against the Death Eaters, and frankly handling herself better than Hermione did. They'd have never even made it to the Department of Mysteries if it hadn't been for Luna's outside the box thinking.

Much to her surprise, though, when Hermione recounted this to Dumbledore, he was... less than pleased.

"Yes," Dumbledore said. "Professor McGonagall had to award Ravenclaw points. She wasn't happy about that. You shouldn't have allowed her to go with you."

"She's as brave as any Gryffindor..."

"But, she's not a Gryffindor, Miss Granger. She's a Ravenclaw. Never forget that."

"What does it matter? I was almost sorted into Ravenclaw, myself"

"But, you chose Gryffindor. That makes all the difference."

"I don't understand."

"It's our choices, Hermione, that show us what we truly are."

"And Luna chose to fight alongside us, when she had nothing at stake... Just because it was the right thing to do."

"Have you ever heard of the Doctrine of Predestination?"

"No."

"It says that Man can never be deserving of salvation. It can only be given by the Grace of God. Therefore, God has already chosen the Elect and the Damned. You are either born among the Elect and are good, or you are not."

"I... can't accept that, Professor."

"But you must. God has sorted His people. Here, the Sorting is done by the Sorting Hat."

"The Sorting Hat that wanted to put me in Ravenclaw, and I'd bet it considered Gryffindor for Luna."

"Possibly. But, you chose Gryffindor, while she chose Ravenclaw. You made that choice because you are truly one of the Elect. Miss Lovegood choosing Ravenclaw shows that she is not. Whatever she may seem to be on the surface, never consider her as good as any Gryffindor. Your House is your family, and she is not your family."

"But, Professor... I've seen some of my fellow Gryffindors... Well, a lot of them, actually... Behave in ways that are less than... good. Some of the things they've said and done... I've even done some things that are... a bit questionable."

"Only for the right reasons, Hermione. I assure you your actions have been for the greater good."

Maybe, Hermione thought, but there was no justification for some of the things her fellow Gryffindors had done, often the very same actions they were so quick to condemn those of other Houses for. She was beginning to understand Professor Snape's hostility towards her House, and why her fellow Gryffindors treated Cedric Diggory of Hufflepuff being chosen by the impartial Goblet of Fire to be Hogwarts' representative in the Tri-Wizard Tournament as a crime against nature.

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Hermione wasn't quite sure when she fell for Ron, or even why. Of course, the other main boy in her life was Harry, and while she loved Harry, he wasn't the most fun person to be around. Ginny hadn't gotten over her crush, even though she was dating Dean Thomas, a fellow Gryffindor, an artist, and a gentleman.

Ron's oldest brother, Bill, was at the Weasleys' home, the Burrow, with his fiancee, Fleur. This didn't make Molly or Ginny happy. You see, Fleur was part Veela, an offshoot of the Fae that males were especially attracted to. Molly Weasley didn't like the Fae, not one bit. Hermione learned this when she suggested inviting Luna for a visit. After all, Luna lived not far from the Burrow, located just outside the town of Ottery-St-Catchpole.

"Yes, Dumbledore told us she went with you to the Department of Mysteries."

Uh oh... Hermione knew she'd have to defend Luna, again.

"She has some unusual ideas, sure, but she's the nicest, most loving person..."

"She's half Sidhe."

Well, that explained a lot. Hermione had read about the Sidhe, the Fairy Folk. There were so many stories about them, both good and bad. Luna had unusual eyes, large, silver, reflective, and moonlike. Just like the wandmaker, Mr. Ollivander, Hermione suddenly realized. And, like Mr. Ollivander, Luna had an Old Magic feel to her, something ancient and... primal. Luna reminded her of a wood nymph. Now, Hermione understood why.

The Sidhe had divided themselves into two Courts, the Seelie and Unseelie. The Seelie was the more benevolent of the two, and had many fairy creatures in it's Court, including fauns, pixies, and brownies. The Unseelie Court was hostile to humans, and their Court included many dark fairy creatures, including goblins, the very goblins who now ran the wizarding bank, Gringotts. Hermione wondered if there was a connection between the brownies and the house elves that were slaves of the wizarding world, but couldn't find anything confirming her suspicions.

"Is Luna's family Seelie or Unseelie?" she asked Molly.

"Seelie, but don't let that fool you," Molly replied. "The Seelie Court gives the Ministry all kinds of trouble. The truce we have with them stops them from abducting people outright like they used to. But, if somebody happens to stumble into their lands, or they decide they've been invited..."

"Invited?"

"They have a pretty loose definition of what they consider an invitation. That's one problem with the Statutes of Secrecy. Muggles don't believe the Fae exist, so they sometimes don't watch what they say. And nobody can watch what they dream. They still like to take people to their lands and make them theirs. Once they have you, and decide to keep you, they'll enchant you. The Ministry sometimes can put a stop to an abduction if they get there in time. Means a lot of memory charms, though..."

Hermione thought that sounded horrible.

"They also get nasty when they're offended," Molly continued. "In Ottery-St-Catchpole, they still talk about the pixie attack hundreds of years ago. Wizards had to drive them off, and the Fae who sent them. They were driven into the woods up north from here. Most of us know not to go anywhere near those woods. But Xenophilius Lovegood went there, and one of them enchanted him."

"Luna's mother..."

"That would be her. Morgan was her name. Her daughter looks just like her."

"Look... I got to know Luna pretty well..."

"You think so? The Sidhe have a charm about them... Maybe not like their Veela cousins, but they can put their fairy charms on you and convince you they're the best people in the world. Blood will out. She'll show her true colors, someday."

Hermione trusted Molly's judgment. She trusted Dumbledore's. Yet, she couldn't believe Luna was what they were saying she was. But, if that were so...

"Harry likes her."

"Does he?" Molly asked, her eyes narrowing. "We'll just have to do something about that, then."

---------------------------------------------

"So, Harry has told you about the Prophecy, and what we're doing?" Dumbledore asked her upon her return to school.

"Yes. He said you said he could."

Dumbledore and Harry were hunting dark magical objects called Horcruxes that Voldemort had created in his quest for immortality. Each object had a piece of the Dark Lord's soul, but an act of murder was required to make one.

"Good, good. And Ron, as well?"

"Yes."

"Excellent. You know not to tell anyone else?"

"Yes, Professor."

"Good. And I must implore you to avoid Miss Lovegood as much as possible, this year."

OK, this was getting annoying.

"And why is that?" Hermione asked, trying to keep the irritation out of her voice.

"She's a Legilimens."

A Legilimens could read emotions and memories. Hermione had noticed that Luna always seemed to know what was going on with Harry, and how best to reach him when nobody else could, even her. She'd hadn't thought about how Luna always maintained eye contact with whoever she was talking to, eye contact being a part of Legilimency.

"I think she can be trusted, but I'll do as you say," Hermione promised.

"Good."

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Harry showed a sudden interest in Ginny... Well, Ginny's body, at any rate. Nevertheless, Harry took Luna to Professor Slughorn's Christmas party. Hermione was alarmed for a while, but his sudden obsession with Ginny's looks soon flared up again. Finally, she got him in a very public display, right in front of Dean. Harry practically flaunted it in front of him and everyone, taking an obvious delight in Dean's misery. Hermione was happy for Ginny, or maybe she was just relieved that she wouldn't have to listen to Ginny going on about her Prince Charming. But Dean didn't deserve that.

Another battle happened at the end of the school year, this time at Hogwarts, itself. The Death Eaters were driven off, but at the cost of Dumbledore's life. Luna came through for them once again, despite how much they'd been avoiding her. She did make a point of reminding them, in her Luna-ish way, that they'd hadn't been the best of friends to her, that year.

At Dumbledore's funeral, the usually emotionally reserved Luna cried. Hermione wondered if she would be grieving if she'd known the things Dumbledore had said about her. She probably still would, Hermione thought. Luna always looked for the best in people, and was always forgiving.

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Harry decided enough was enough. He wouldn't return to Hogwarts the next year, but would hunt down the remaining Horcruxes and destroy Voldemort once and for all. Hermione and Ron decided they would go with him.

Hermione Granger, the smartest witch in her year, would end her school years as a Hogwarts dropout.

An even bigger irony was yet to come. Hermione would soon find herself chasing a fairy tale.

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Multi-crossover HP Fic - Fairy Tales: Fata Morgana - Chapter 1: The Fairy Godmother

ebailey140@aol.com — Wed, 22 Aug 2007 10:17:18 GMT

Title: Fairy Tales: Fata Morgana
Chapter 1: The Fairy Godmother
Rating: PG-13 (may change later)
Summary: All was well, or so Harry Potter thought. But, a new power is rising to threaten the wizarding world, and at it's heart is a former friend and heroine of the Voldemort War. Multiple crossover.
A/N: Harry Potter created by J. K. Rowling, Buffy the Vampire Slayer by Joss Whedon, Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll, Oz by L. Frank Baum, and that beagle with the typewriter by Charles Schulz. I own none of them, which is too bad because then I'd be very rich.

This is something of a rewrite of an older abandoned fic series.

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"Aunt Em once said she thought the fairies must have marked Dorothy at her birth, because she had wandered into strange places and had always been protected by some unseen power. As for Uncle Henry, he thought his little niece merely a dreamer, as her dead mother had been, for he could not quite believe all the curious stories Dorothy told them of the Land of Oz, which she had several times visited. He did not think that she tried to deceive her uncle and aunt, but he imagined that she had dreamed all of those astonishing adventures, and that the dreams had been so real to her that she had come to believe them true.

"Whatever the explanation might be, it was certain that Dorothy had been absent from her Kansas home for several long periods, always disappearing unexpectedly, yet always coming back safe and sound, with amazing tales of where she had been and the unusual people she had met. Her uncle and aunt listened to her stories eagerly and in spite of their doubts began to feel that the little girl had gained a lot of experience and wisdom that were unaccountable in this age, when fairies are supposed no longer to exist."

-L. Frank Baum, The Emerald City of Oz

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1892, Kansas, USA

She was, in essence, divided.

A part of her, she knew, still belonged to the mortal world, living her mortal life, the part of her that still believed Wonderland but a dream. The mortal part of herself knew, deep down, that a part of her was there, and always would be, forever Queen Alice of Wonderland.

Life, what is it but a dream? That had been the last part of the incantation that had made her immortal, an Otherworld Queen, and it's Goddess. She understood why, despite Wonderland's chaotic nature, with all it's monsters and other unpleasant things, she was never truly in any danger, there. Everything she needed would just appear, when she needed it. But then, this particular Otherworld was her creation, her dream, crafted by very powerful Fairy magic as they made her into one of their own.

Or, was it HIS dream? She'd wondered that after she became Queen. That was a riddle she'd never found the answer to. But then, that place was full of riddles.

Wonderland had many visitors, ever since HE had taken their once private little special place and opened it to the world. So many found their way here, usually in dreams, sometimes not. Or, at least they usually considered their trips to Wonderland dreams, afterward. So had she.

Oftentimes, the visitors would be children, though all one really needed was a sense of wonder. Some had said her world was an inappropriate place for children to visit, declaring it the stuff of nightmares. Nonsense, Queen Alice thought.

Tonight, though, it was Queen Alice who would be doing the visiting. Fairies, especially Fairy Queens, had many duties. One of Queen Alice's favorite visitors, Mary Blue, now Mrs. Mary Gale, was about to become a mother. Alice was coming to give the child her Blessing. She was pleased she wasn't having to travel all the way to California, with it's Hellmouth, though she knew she'd eventually have to journey to that far Western land. She didn't know why she'd have to, some day, but knew, nevertheless, that she would.

A fairy had to be careful these days when she was to be a Godmother. One had to avoid those self appointed guardians of magic, those mortals who called themselves wizards. The wizards had declared themselves the Law over all that was magical, and declared that all evidence of magic must be kept from those mortals they deemed unworthy of knowing of it. They sought to control all the magic in the world.

The Fae had refused to be ruled by these wizards. The wizards were fools to think they could truly control all the magic. Magic was ancient and chaotic, and it rebelled at attempts to completely contain it. Such was it's nature. Magic was in everything, really, though sometimes it was hard to see.

There had been many conflicts between the wizards and the Fae. They had settled into a tense co-existence, but the wizards still tried to interfere in Fae business. Alice learned this after her first trip to Wonderland. There was a great deal of argument about what to do about the situation. They actually intended to violate her very mind, as well as that of her friend, who the world now knew as Lewis Carroll. Fortunately for them both, they were protected by the magic of the Fae. A compromise was reached with the Ministry of Magic. The world would believe the stories of her adventures were fiction.

It was only a matter of time, though, before the storm would break. The wizards had gone too far when they captured the Brownies of the Seelie Court and enslaved them. The Fae had, thus far, been able to do little to help the Brownies, but the Fae could plan, long term. The wizards, so arrogant in how they viewed their place in the world, would never see the storm coming.

Speaking of storms, it was a dark and stormy night in Kansas, right in the middle of the vast United States of America, where Alice was visiting. Alice suddenly pictured a beagle, of all things, typing out that description as the beginning of a great novel. She'd always had a curious imagination. So had Mary Blue.

Mary's brother had described her as a dreamer, a girl sometimes lost in her own world, her own thoughts. Mary was quite a brilliant girl, Alice thought. She'd visited Wonderland often as she was growing up. She visited less when she grew to womanhood and married, but she still appeared every now and then. Wonderland was a part of her and she would always be welcome there.

It was during her most recent visit that Alice offered her services as Godmother.

"Have you decided on a name?" Alice had asked.

"If it's a boy, Theodore. If it's a girl, Dorothy."

"Gift of the Gods," Alice replied. "And, she'll be a girl."

"How do you know?" Mary wondered, though she was pleased. She wanted a girl.

"I just do," Alice said and smiled. "And she'll be good, clever, strong, and powerful. All will one day know her name."

Dorothy Gale... How appropriate the weather, Alice thought. Names had their own magic, and Dorothy Gale was already raising her first storm. She'd have an affinity for those.

Alice would have many Goddaughters over the coming years, and they would all have aspects of herself, as much her children as they were their parents', all dreamers, all adventurers, all considered strange and unusual to the small minded. One day, she knew, she would call several of them together, all these seeds she had carefully planted.

And on that day the storm would break.

BtVS/HP Crossover Fic - Fairy Tales: Make a Wish

ebailey140@aol.com — Thu, 09 Aug 2007 09:48:22 GMT

Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer created by Joss Whedon, Harry Potter created by J. K. Rowling.

Characters: Anya, Halfrek, The Dumbledores, Lovegoods, and Potters, and Severus Snape.

Rating: PG-13

Summary: It's near the end of the first Voldemort War. Vengeance demons find wars great for business. First in the Fairy Tales series.

Spoilers for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Humans were so amusing, these wand wavers especially so, Anyanka thought.

She was spending a lot of time in the so-called "Wizarding world", these days. They had one of their wars going, and wars, for vengeance demons, meant great business.

Anyanka had been a vengeance demon for over a thousand years, granting wishes to those in need of her particular skills, sort of like a fairy godmother from the fairy tales. Of course, Anyanka knew the Fae well, and whenever the Sidhe did indulge in this sort of thing, they tended to be a lot gentler than Anyanka's Order. Well, at least the Sidhe of the Seelie Court were gentler. Those of the Unseelie Court... Well, that was a different matter.

A wish granted by a vengeance demon tended to be granted in a manner the client didn't intend. After all, they were demons.

"Do you HAVE to work in that disgusting place?" her old friend and fellow vengeance demon Halfrek asked over tea.

"The place does smell disgustingly of goats," Anyanka replied. "But the Hog's Head is the perfect place to find clients. So many interesting people come through there."

"Yes, but there are nicer places you could have assumed your barmaid identity. Rather ironic guise by the way, dear."

"Yes, I suppose it is, considering how I got into the vengeance game. But trust me, Hallie, this is the place where I'll paint one of my masterpieces. I know it."

"If you say so."

"You're just mad because you can't visit, yourself."

Hallie smiled, and said, "Old Abbie might recognize me. His brother certainly would."

Each vengeance demon had a specialty, based on what drove them to take up the calling. Anyanka specialized in taking vengeance on men for angry women. Hallie's specialty was children who had been wronged by their parents or guardians.

"I don't know why you think they'd recognize you. These wand wavers have no sense of their own history. Most of them don't even know we EXIST. They don't want to acknowledge the magic that's outside their little bubble."

"Oh, I know. Have you seen that fountain they have in their Ministry building?"

Anyanka laughed, and replied, "Yeah! They really think they're on top of the magical food chain, don't they? Do you know what they're calling this Tom Riddle guy who's causing all the fuss?"

"He Who Must Not Be Named", Hallie said in overly dramatic tones, then laughed.

"This guy's got them quaking in their little boots! They think THIS is the scariest thing out there? They should see the REAL things that Must Not Be Named. Idiots... Blind idiots have no idea..."

"Albus Dumbledore's a little smarter than most, though," Hallie said, thoughtfully. "He'd put two and two together if he ever saw me, again."

"That was great work back then, by the way."

"Yes," Hallie said, warmed by the memory. "That sister of theirs... Her pain called out to me..."

"Oh, I'm going to top that, soon," Anyanka said, the friends always being competitive. "I'm just waiting for this one to say those two magic words."

"Anyone recognize you, yet?"

"Morgan's been around."

Hallie was surprised to hear THAT name.

"Morgan?!! Morgan of the Seelie Court? How is she?"

"Would you believe she married one of those wand wavers? Guy named Xenophilius Lovegood."

"Morgan settling down?" Hallie could hardly believe it. "He must be something else."

"He is... As men go." Anyanka hated men, but had to admit Xeno wasn't bad for one. She actually enjoyed having conversations with him, which, for her, was almost unheard of.

"Morgan's not going to tattle on you, is she?" Hallie asked, concerned.

"No, we talked. I leave her alone, she'll leave me alone."

"Well, that's good," Hallie said, relieved.

"They're expecting. I think that's mellowed her, a bit. So, she won't sic those horrible... things on me, again."

Anyanka shuddered at that memory, when Morgan confronted her with her most primal terror. While the Sidhe of the Seelie Court were gentler than those of the Unseelie Court, they could be quite horrible when provoked. Morgan probably kept those blasted bunnies around the house...

-----------------------------------------------------

It was a quiet night at the Hog's Head. Anyanka was about to give up on any potential clients, let alone the one she'd been working so hard to coax a wish out of, when THEY arrived: The Potters, and those sidekicks always attached to the husband's hip. Anyanka sometimes wondered if the five of them had orgasms together, but dismissed the thought. These were Gryffindors. Wizards were a repressed lot for the most part, and Gryffindors especially so. Wizards were also immature, letting old House rivalries from their boarding school days guide all their relationships. Not that Anyanka was complaining. Such things made her job so much easier.

Another entered the Hog's Head. Perfect. Just who Anyanka wanted to see. There was a history between Lily Potter and Severus Snape. What made things even better was Lily's husband and his friends had always bullied Severus in school. Now, they were on opposite sides in a war, though Lily and her friends didn't know that, for certain. If James Potter and his gang hadn't been off talking to Albus about something or other, things would get ugly, very quickly, and violent. As it was, though, only Lily was aware of Severus's presence... Besides Anyanka, of course.

Severus was looking at Lily like he was about to vomit, Anyanka thought. This had no doubt to do with Lily's pregnancy. Lily was just staring at Severus, coldly.

It was time.

"Still bothering you?" Anyanka asked.

"He always bothers me," Lily replied.

"Well, that's men for you."

"Not all men!" Lily said, offended.

Anyanka had her own opinion on that. She didn't like James Potter one bit, and frankly didn't understand what Lily saw in him. But, no sense telling Lily that. She had a job to do, here.

"OK, not all men. Just that one," she amended.

"Yes..."

"I mean, you trust a guy, you open your heart to him, and he cuts it out."

Lily looked crestfallen, then angry again.

"I just wish..." she began.

"Yes?"

"I wish... I wish something would happen to him to SHOW him what he's become! To make him know regret! I want him to be haunted by what he's put me through for the rest of his miserable life!"

"Done."

Lily shook her head in confusion... She thought she just saw... No, a trick of the light. She smiled as her husband and friends returned, Professor Dumbledore with them.

"Hello, Lily," Albus said.

"Professor", Lily greeted, smiling.

"I'm sorry that I can't stay and chat, but I have an interview to conduct for the Divination post. But, I wanted to say hello."

Anyanka watched the humans do that small talk they always felt the need to engage in before Albus went up the stairs for the interview. No one but Anyanka noticed Severus Snape follow after a few minutes.

Anyanka smiled, knowing her work here was done. She didn't know how this wish was going to unfold, but she knew, she KNEW, that the results would be spectacular. She had a sense of these things.

Yes, they'd be talking about the results for a very, very, long time. Humans were so amusing, especially these wand wavers. For all their arrogance, thinking THEY were the masters of the mystical world, they forgot one of the most basic rules of magic...

Be careful what you wish for.

How will you be suspended from LJ?

ebailey140@aol.com — Tue, 07 Aug 2007 05:08:11 GMT

Philosophy quiz

ebailey140@aol.com — Tue, 26 Jun 2007 11:44:20 GMT

You scored as Existentialism, Your life is guided by the concept of Existentialism: You choose the meaning and purpose of your life.

“Man is condemned to be free; because once thrown into the world, he is responsible for everything he does.”

“It is up to you to give [life] a meaning.”

--Jean-Paul Sartre

“It is man's natural sickness to believe that he possesses the Truth.”

--Blaise Pascal

More info at Arocoun's Wikipedia User Page...

</td>

Existentialism

100%

Hedonism

85%

Justice (Fairness)

60%

Utilitarianism

45%

Strong Egoism

40%

Kantianism

40%

Divine Command

30%

Nihilism

Apathy

What philosophy do you follow? (v1.03)
created with QuizFarm.com

What color is your soul painted? (quiz)

ebailey140@aol.com — Tue, 26 Jun 2007 11:33:04 GMT

What color is your soul painted?

Blue

Your soul is painted the color blue, which embodies the characteristics of peace, patience, understanding, health, tranquility, protection, spiritual awareness, unity, harmony, calmness, coolness, confidence, dependability, loyalty, idealism, tackiness, and wisdom. Blue is the color of the element Water, and is symbolic of the ocean, sleep, twilight, and the sky.

Click Here to Take This Quiz

Quizzes and Personality Tests

http://www.quiztron.com/tests/color_is_soul_painte_quiz_23687.htm

Well, this is interesting (another quiz)

ebailey140@aol.com — Thu, 22 Feb 2007 00:11:15 GMT

I think they're generalizing a bit much, but OK...

You scored as Paganism. Your beliefs are most closely aligned with those of paganism, Wicca, or a similar earth-based religion. You may also follow a Native American religion.

</td>

Paganism

67%

Buddhism

63%

Islam

63%

Hinduism

58%

agnosticism

54%

Christianity

46%

Judaism

38%

Satanism

38%

atheism

13%

Which religion is the right one for you? (new version)
created with QuizFarm.com

HP Fic: The Last Word, Part 3

ebailey140@aol.com — Thu, 18 Jan 2007 12:47:04 GMT

Yes, already another one.

I know I'm throwing the official timeline off with one of the movies, but I couldn't resist.

The Magic Kingdom

"Harry Potter! You've destroyed You Know Who! What are you going to do, now?" Rita Skeeter asked.

"I'm going to Disneyland!" Harry answered.

And he was, too, even if only two people with him, Luna and Hermione, understood the joke.

Luna had promised him, if they survived the war, that she would show him the true magic of the world, magic they didn't teach at Hogwarts, magic even the muggles saw.

He didn't expect that Disneyland would be the first place she'd want to take him to. He especially didn't expect Hermione to agree with Luna that this was true magic. She and Ron would come along.

First, though, they'd be giving Ron a Disney crash course, so he wouldn't be completely lost. Harry's new girlfriend, as it happened, had a large collection of Disney movies, yet another surprise of hers. There would be a lifetime of surprises from her, Harry knew. He need not worry about ever becoming bored with life after Voldemort while he was with Luna Lovegood.

Harry enjoyed it, as he'd seen a few Disney movies when he lived with the Dursleys, but never this many, and it was never as fun watching them there.

Some he found especially touching. Beauty and the Beast certainly felt personal, as Belle reminded him very much of Luna, and the Beast of himself. He also remembered moments where he'd been very much Gaston, and was thankful he'd grown out of that. He loved Alice in Wonderland, again reminded of Luna. She and Hermione insisted that he and Ron must read the books.

"I thought we were done reading when we left school!" Ron protested, to no avail.

Another Disney film they were told they needed to read the books on which they were based was Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Something bothered Harry about this movie. There was something familiar about that android that he couldn't quite place.

As they prepared for their journey to the Magic Kingdom, Ron tried to review all he'd learned.

"OK... What was the name of the villain in The Lion King?"

Harry, Luna, and Hermione all yelled "Scar!"

HP Fic: The Last Word, Parts 1 & 2

ebailey140@aol.com — Thu, 18 Jan 2007 11:47:39 GMT

Title: The Last Word
Author: Perceval
Rating: PG-13
Pairings: Various
Summary: JKR has said the last word in the Harry Potter series will be "scar". A series of drabbles and one shots, some comedic, some not, on the end of the series.

Surprise

Harry, Ron, and Hermione were quite shocked at the sight before them. They thought they'd surprise Ginny with their triumphant return. Instead, they were surprised to walk in on Ginny, quite naked, on her bed with an equally naked Luna, engaged in activities we can't describe in detail in this novel.

After backing out of Ginny's room and closing the door, noticeably far more embarrassed than either of the young women, who greeted them with a warm welcome, Ron spoke what all three were thinking when he said "Now, that's going to leave a permanent mental scar."

Remember

While Harry was gone to them... For now, Luna would always insist, as they would see him again, she knew, some day... His memory and what it would inspire would live on.

For Hermione Granger, it was only the beginning. Overcoming Voldemort wasn't enough, she knew. Lord Voldemort wasn't the disease infecting the wizarding world, just a symptom. Harry Potter's and Albus Dumbledore's work wouldn't truly be done until what created Voldemort was dealt with, and to this, Hermione dedicated her life.

Ron Weasley remembered thinking she was daft for her notions, her challenges to the way things had always been done. Now, he joined her in her cause for the rights of all those the culture he'd been raised by, that he had so long accepted, oppressed and abused, the goblins, the werewolves, the centaurs, and, of course, the house elves.

Their campaign would ultimately lead to Andromeda Black-Tonks's appointment to the position of Minister for Magic, finally realizing the destiny her parents had given her when they named her. It was funny how these things worked out. Andromeda would make sweeping reforms. The werewolf issue was especially personal to her. Hermione negotiated a treaty and alliance with the Seelie and Unseelie Courts of the Sidhe, having become acquainted with them through her adventure with Luna.

Neville Longbottom made many advances in the field of Herbology, revolutionizing the healing and potions fields, the latter being ironic considering Neville never did get the hang of potions. He married Ginny Weasley, who became quite famous in her own right by leading Britain to victory in the Quiddich World Cup. Her brother Ron would make them quite a fortune by introducing merchandising and endorsement deals he'd learned from his study of muggle sports. Hermione had first been annoyed that sports, of all things, what what Ron had embraced when she introduced him to the culture she was from. But, she realized, that was part of what she loved about him, and the wealth that resulted certainly had it's advantages.

Neville, for his part, remained humble regardless of his fame and fortune. He credited everything he accomplished, both during the war and after, to the inspiration provided by his wife, and Harry Potter.

Luna Lovegood wrote the definitive biography of Harry Potter, in seven volumes. She married Draco Malfoy, who surprised the wizarding world by breaking tradition and taking her surname as his own. "Love being good is much better to pass on than bad faith," he explained.

Luna approached Headmistress of Hogwarts Minerva McGonagall about introducing Alchemy as an advanced course for the school. McGonagall agreed, as long as Luna would teach it. It seemed Luna reminded the Headmistress of her mentor, so she knew the young woman would be an excellent teacher.

Luna incorporated a variety of things in her classes, which those that didn't know her would think completely random. They included familiar subjects such as transfiguration, potions, charms, and history, but also muggle music, poetry, and literature, where Luna said the greatest magical secrets were to be found. While most would wonder why she assigned the works of writers such as Lewis Carroll and James Joyce as texts, and included the music of the likes of the Beatles in her classes, Alchemists understood.

"Some things can't be expressed in anything but through poetry, music, and literature," she told her students. "That's the reason Christ taught in parables, and Aesop in fables. A very wise man said that music was a magic beyond beyond anything we teach here."

A major part of her teachings was the story of the journey of Harry Potter, what he did, the example he set. She told of how he learned unconditional love and mercy, even for the fractured soul that was Tom Riddle. She told of how Harry finally found how to overcome Voldemort, how to reunite the pieces of Tom's soul. She told of Harry's love for the world, and what he ultimately did for them all.

"But, don't feel sad for Harry," she said. "He found a joy and completeness that we all seek, whether we know it or not. He knew the unconditional love and peace in his soul that we usually only find in Heaven. What we must do in our lives is find that. Bring a little bit of Heaven on Earth, as he did. Touch other lives as he touched ours, with love, compassion, faith.

"When darkness and despair are upon you, remember the power of love and faith, and know those we love are waiting for us, as Heaven is eternal. Always remember what we learned from the boy with the scar."

HP fic: Black Alchemy: The Queen's Riddle, Chapter 4: The Road of Trials

ebailey140@aol.com — Sun, 31 Dec 2006 11:42:54 GMT

Title: Black Alchemy: The Queen's Riddle
Author: Perceval
Rating: PG
Summary: Tom embraces the spirit of Wonderland, and comes to some decisions on how to live his life. He THINKS he has it all figured out...
Notes: Ever put Rowling and Carroll names and terms through livejournal's spellcheck?

Tom loved stories of heroic quests, finding the boon, winning the fair maiden. And now, he was off on one, himself.

He would face the dangers and general annoyances of Wonderland. Be it jabberwock, bandersnatch, twins fighting over a rattle, he would face it. Nothing would come between him and his beloved Queen Alice. He would find the tea, and do what no visitor had done before. He would successfully drink a cup. Then, he would be worthy of his Queen.

He paused. This place was really getting to him, he realized.

No matter. He decided, right there and then, that when he chose a course of action, he would see it through to the very end. Now, to find the damn tea...

Wait, he needed a plan. One didn't simply go stomping around and expect to get anything done. No, he needed to work out exactly how he was going to accomplish the tasks he'd set for himself.

Though he'd never been here, directly, at any rate, he knew this land. This was how he'd avoided the Red Queen and her chess game. The Tea Party wouldn't be with the Cards, so, if he was careful, his head would be in no danger of rolling. If he played his cards right...

This place really was getting to him.

Everything was puns. Wordplay and numbers. Words and numbers had power, here. The way the number forty-two recurred in this place... Perhaps the greatest knowledge lay in that number's mystery...

For all it's seeming nonsense, there was much to learn in Wonderland. For example, the tale of the Walrus and the Carpenter. Tom thought that tale told a terrible truth, the gullible get gulped.

Now, how to find the tea party... Where was that damn Cat when you needed him? Oh well, there would be signs. There were always signs.

There was a potential problem, he realized. The Mad Hatter had been imprisoned for a time by the White Queen. He was free now, Tom remembered. But, it was no longer perpetually six-o-clock for him, no longer always tea time. Yet, the Hatter was still drinking his tea, so if Tom could find him, tea would be had.

Was Hatta still in the White Queen's service? Alice had disrupted everything on her ascension to the throne, so perhaps not. So, the Hatter could be in his home, he could be with the White Queen, or... He could be anywhere.

Tom suddenly realized he had no real clue what to do.

He was frightened, for a moment, but just a moment.

Alice was never frightened, and she didn't have his knowledge of this place when she first came here. So, he wouldn't be, either. There was a way. There was always a way. He'd just have to think of what it was, but he was always a clever boy. He knew he could. He knew he would. He would make things happen.

He saw something in the distance. Serendipity. Mushrooms.

And, with mushrooms, he was certain, would be a caterpillar. And with a caterpillar would come advice that would aid him in his quest. This was how these things were done.

Yes, he would find the proper road, find the Mad Hatter, and then find the elixir, the tea, and drink of it. Then, he would find his Queen. Everything in it's proper order.

"Hello," a girl's pretty voice pulled him from his musings. He looked up.

Sitting on the mushroom as a throne... wasn't a caterpillar.

Tom had forgotten things are often backwards in Wonderland.

His Queen had found him, and he'd hadn't even found the tea, yet.

HP fic: Black Alchemy: The Queen's Riddle, Chapter 3: Threshold

ebailey140@aol.com — Sat, 30 Dec 2006 22:17:31 GMT

Title: Black Alchemy: The Queen's Riddle
Author: Perceval
Rating: PG
Summary: Tom Riddle has found himself in Wonderland, something he knows to be impossible. He's always been a reasonable boy...

Bloody rude flowers.

The Tiger-Lily was the only one with any manners, Tom thought.

He'd considered trying to pick the lot of them, but he remembered they had told Alice something about a protecting tree. He recalled that they didn't say that the tree would get physical about things. He imagined a violent tree taking swings at people, and decided that would be very unlike a tree. But, considering where he was, somewhere nothing behaved as it normally should, he reasoned that it was probably best not to risk it.

He really needed to leave this garden, though. He remembered that this would lead him to the Red Queen, and he really had no desire to meet the Red Queen. This would lead to playing an elaborate chess game, and, while Tom found chess quite interesting, at seven, he'd hadn't the opportunity to learn to play it well, at least well enough for the stakes he'd be playing for, here. Besides, she'd insist on offering him a biscuit when he really didn't want one, especially if he didn't want one.

And anyway, this wasn't the Queen he wanted to see. But, he thought sadly, she surely wouldn't be here. After all, she'd left, many years ago, left and was living her life. His Alice was long gone.

But then, he thought, if this was a dream, and surely it was, anything was possible. Except, it didn't feel like a dream. The Dreamworld felt very different than this, as one noted when one realized one was dreaming. He reasoned that he MUST be dreaming, but he clearly wasn't.

"Curiouser and curiouser," said Tom, as he wandered out of the garden.

If he wasn't dreaming, then he had to be in a very real place. But, Wonderland could not be real. There were rules governing the world, and this place defied every single one of them. The only possible explanation was magic, and magic didn't exist. Tom knew that.

But... He'd had some interesting experiences during his seven years, that had, as far as he could tell, no simple, reasonable, explanations. He considered, for a moment, that perhaps magic DID exist. But surely, if it did, everyone would know it. Of course, people didn't seem to notice so many things that Tom did. He was... special, he'd been told. And, he was here, which pretty much settled the argument. Perhaps.

Maybe he really was mad, after all.

"Well, of course you are," a now familiar voice said.

Tom looked up, and there was the Cheshire Cat on a tree branch, fortunately not a violent one.

"We're all mad, here," said the Cat. "I'm mad, you're mad."

"I'm NOT mad!", Tom said angrily. Well, maybe he was a bit mad, but not in the way the Cat was referring to.

"You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn't have come here."

"I knew you'd say that," Tom countered.

"Of course, you did," said the Cat.

"And, Alice wasn't mad, which proves you wrong."

"Isn't she? Her Majesty is Queen and Creator, after all. All of this came from her mind. It's... a reflection of how she saw the world, out there."

"No one can shape a world as they see fit."

"Is that so? You can tell her that, when you meet her."

"I can't meet her, because she can't be here."

"Why not?"

"Because..." Tom was losing his patience, he knew, which never led to good things, here, but he had to maintain some reason... "She's out in the real world, living a real life. It's been in the newspapers, and someone can't be two places at once!"

"How do you know?"

"It's impossible."

"And, how many impossible things have you done, today?"

"At least it's well after breakfast," Tom conceded. "But, we have bodies and souls. She'd have to have more than one body..."

"That's very convenient for her, yes."

"And we CAN'T have more than one soul. You'd have to be able to split the one you have."

"Yes..."

"And, that's impossible."

Tom felt really stupid saying that, all things considered. What was impossible in a place like this? How could a place like this exist? All he could think of was... magic.

Well, either magic existed, or he was quite mad. He preferred the first option, even though it was the least logical one.

"You're tense," the Cat noted.

"OF COURSE, I'M TENSE!!!" Tom shouted.

"Perhaps you could use a soothing cup of tea," the Cat suggested, before disappearing, again.

Right, Tom thought. If he was certain of one thing, he'd never be able to actually drink a cup of tea in this place. Still, though, he knew this place, however mad, had it's rules, it's way of doing things, it's own internal logic. He knew, from the Cat's words, exactly what was coming next.

He wouldn't have any tea, he was certain, but he'd have to try, anyway.

So, he set off towards inevitable destiny.

HP fic: Black Alchemy: The Queen's Riddle, Chapter 2: The Call

ebailey140@aol.com — Sat, 30 Dec 2006 01:19:58 GMT

Title: Black Alchemy: The Queen's Riddle

Author: Perceval

Rating: PG

Summary: It's Tom Riddle's seventh birthday, he's bored, and very curious. He knows curiosity can lead you to strange places, but he didn't think it would lead him to this.

Notes: Thanks once again to Sorg, this time for the garden suggestion.

--------------------------------------------

It was Tom Riddle's seventh birthday.

This meant cake, pretending to like the other kids at the orphanage, and them pretending to like him.

They didn't like him, he knew. They thought him too strange, a quiet, thoughtful, child. Being remotely thoughtful was something beyond the other kids. For that matter, it was beyond most adults Tom had encountered.

He knew the entire rest of the world couldn't possibly be this boring, that there had to be some interesting people who did think, now and then. After all, Tom loved books, and those were obviously written by some interesting, thoughtful, people. He wondered if those people felt as alone in the world as he did, and this is how they reached others, finding kindred spirits.

Tom would sometimes lose himself completely in books. He was especially drawn to stories of heroes going on great quests to magical faraway lands. His favorite was about a girl around his age who was utterly bored by her mundane surroundings and found adventure by following a rabbit with a watch, a girl after his own heart. Now, THAT'S what he needed, he thought. Unfortunately, one wasn't likely to have a talking rabbit with a watch turn up to make your day interesting. Still, though, he'd imagine himself accompanying the girl on her adventures. He thought he'd found a genuine friend in the girl in the book.

It was then that he heard a strange voice in his head.

"What would it be like to really lose yourself in a book?" the voice asked. "Could you picture it, actually being in a book?"

Right. He needed to get away from the orphanage, right now, if it was making him hear voices in his head. Despite what he was certain some thought, he wasn't mad.

"Are you sure about that?" the voice asked.

"Very sure," he thought back.

"You're hearing voices in your head, and answering them."

"Only because this place leaves me with only myself for good company."

"You should get out, take a stroll, then."

"I'm about to do just that."

"Following the advice of the voice in your head? And you're not mad?"

"No, I was going to do that, anyway."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes!" And, he was sure. He often wandered when he was bored. And, he was often bored. "I just have to figure out where I want to go. Then, I will"

"Where do you want to go?"

"Anywhere but here."

"Then, it doesn't really matter where you go."

Infuriating. But, there was something familiar about what the voice had told him that he couldn't quite place. That just made it even more infuriating. Nevertheless, he couldn't deny that it was good advice. Of course, this voice in his head had to be some sort of inner monologue, so of course he'd give himself good advice.

"You give yourself good advice, but how often do you follow it?" the voice asked.

Tom sighed, and was certain some fresh air would clear his head.

One wouldn't think there would be interesting places to explore in the part of London the orphanage was in, that is if one didn't allow himself to see things others didn't notice. Tom always saw things others didn't notice. Most would just not really look at what was around them, just walking through their mundane lives, thinking mundane thoughts, as if they wanted their world to be boring. This part of London had little to offer in the exotic, so Tom simply made do. He couldn't get any of the other children to share his fascinations. They just refused to see the possibilities.

For example, some of the older houses in the area. There were some he was certain were somewhat alive, feeling different than others. Tom couldn't understand how most failed to notice this. He never had to be told, beforehand, that some of the older houses were said to be haunted. He could always tell exactly which ones were. He wanted to know the stories these places had to tell.

Some gained his curiosity for a different reason. Some homes had large, locked, gardens. He'd read about these, and wanted to see one, up close. He stood outside the gates of one, really wanting to see what was on the other side.

"Why don't you look and see?" The voice was back.

"It's locked, and forbidden."

"But, you're curious."

"Yes, but..."

"What would Alice do?"

Tom sighed, again, and replied, "Alice would find a way into the garden, and explore. She rarely listened to the good advice she gave herself."

"Oh yes, good advice. Stay with what's familiar, what you know. Don't go exploring strange places. You never know what you might find."

"Hmmph..."

"She just... had to go do it, though, didn't she? But then, we can't all have that sort of spirit. Most resist the call to adventure. It keeps them out of trouble."

"What sort of adventure could I find in a garden, anyway?"

"Who knows?" the voice asked with amusement. "That's what makes it an adventure."

"Yes, but..."

Tom noticed that a mist had risen. This gave him a very strange feeling, and he wondered why.

He looked through the locked gates. He could see part of the garden, but only a small part of it. He then noticed the strangest thing. There seemed to be small lights dancing. He felt like he should know what that meant, but he couldn't think clearly and logically, at the moment. This frightened him.

"Now, there's something you don't see every day," the voice said.

"Maybe I should go back..."

"Yes, maybe you should. Back to where things are safe and oh so boring..."

"This could be dangerous."

"Well, not everyone can hear the call."

"No, but I CAN."

"So, what are you going to do about it?"

He knew what he wanted to do. He wanted to do exactly as Alice would. The gate was locked, sure, but it would be a simple matter to climb it and learn the garden's secrets. He wondered why no one ever did that.

"Most wouldn't think of it," the voice said. "Most simply walk by, every day, and THEY don't catch their eye. Most cannot see. Those who can feel pressure not to. It's understandable if you choose to pretend not to see. You'd fit in with normal people, better."

"They're boring."

"Yes, they are. But... I understand why you'd want to be like them."

"I do NOT want to be like them."

"They don't have to think about anything other than what's right in front of them. Of course, look at what's right in front of you... But, I suppose you can just pretend you don't see it. You can choose a normal, boring, mundane existence."

Fine, Tom thought. He knew he shouldn't, but... He could never deny what he was seeing. He could to others, but never to himself. He'd always wonder...

What did those normal, boring people matter, anyway?

"Now, THAT'S the spirit," the voice said.

His decision made, he climbed over the gate. It was surprisingly easy.

It was a beautiful garden.

It was also much larger than he thought it could be. There simply didn't seem to be this much room from the outside. It was impossible, yet here it was.

He followed the dancing lights, that seemed to be drawing him to... somewhere. As he drew closer, they became more clear. They looked like... fairies?

But, that was impossible. Fairies only existed in stories.

"Yet, there they are," the voice told him.

As he followed the fairy dance deeper into the garden, he noticed the flowers were much larger than they should be. They also seemed to be... watching him?

"Happy birthday, Tom," the voice said. Tom suddenly realized the voice was coming from outside his head, now. He spun around, to see a cat grinning at him, before it... vanished.

"Oh, bugger..." was all Tom could think to say.

HP fic: Black Alchemy: The Queen's Riddle Chapter 1: Goddess

ebailey140@aol.com — Tue, 26 Dec 2006 22:28:37 GMT

Title: Black Alchemy: The Queen's Riddle

Author: Perceval

Rating: PG

Summary: It's Tom Riddle's seventh birthday, and he wants to do something special. A trip to an Otherworld wasn't quite what he had in mind.

Notes: Part of the Black Alchemy series,though this doesn't directly involve a Black, though it is a family one of them married into. A special thanks to BellonaBlack, Pipenerd, and, as always, Sorg for their ideas and suggestions.

Disclaimers: The usual, don't own any of them, as nice as it would be.

December 31, 1933

She was, in essence, divided.

A part of her, she knew, was still in the mortal world, living her mortal life, the part of her that still believed this place but a dream. The mortal part of herself knew, deep down, that a part of her was here, and always would be, forever Queen Alice of Wonderland.

Life, what is it but a dream? That had been the last part of the incantation that had made her immortal, an Otherworld Queen, and it's Goddess. She understood why, despite Wonderland's chaotic nature, with all it's monsters and other unpleasant things, she was never truly in any danger, here. Everything she needed would just appear, when she needed it. But then, this particular Otherworld was her creation, her dream.

Or, was it HIS dream? She'd wondered that after she became Queen. That was a riddle she'd never found the answer to. But then, this place was full of riddles.

Speaking of which...

The Cheshire Cat had come, bearing news. They had a visitor. Wonderland had had many visitors, of course, ever since HE had taken their once private little special place and opened it to the world. So many found their way here, usually in dreams, sometimes not. Or, at least they usually considered their trips to Wonderland dreams, afterward. So had she.

Oftentimes, the visitors would be children, though all one really needed was a sense of wonder. Some had said her world was an inappropriate place for children to visit, declaring it the stuff of nightmares. Nonsense, Queen Alice thought.

Sometimes, she would take an audience with her visitors. The Cheshire Cat was insistent she take this one.

"Oh, you'll like him," he told her.

"You've introduced yourself, I expect?"

"Oh, but it would have been so rude not to."

"Good," she replied, amused. "So, why do you insist I take a personal interest in this one?"

"Oh, but you MUST. It's his seventh birthday."

"Is it?" Well, that was certainly... something. It was on her seventh birthday that she made her first journey to Wonderland. Or, was it that was when Wonderland came into being? No matter... Obviously, her story had made quite the impression on the boy.

"So," she asked, "what can I expect?"

"He reminds me a lot of you, when we met. He has your curiosity, and I think he's even less patient than you were."

"Well, my dear, you have an uncanny knack for trying one's patience. You would have infuriated Job, I think."

Not that she could hold it against him. After all, he was just what she had made him... or what HE had made him... Or THEY, the ones who set everything in motion, with their magic, the ones who had made her their own...

One interesting thing about being a Goddess was her form was however her mortal visitors perceived her. She looked at her hair, blonde and scraggly, her dress... Mr. Tenniel's drawings, of course. She didn't need a mirror to know her eyes were especially large. She felt the familiar crown on her head, and the large scepter appeared in her hand. She sat on her mushroom throne, awaiting her audience.

Then, with perfect timing, she saw him approach.

He was a pretty boy, she noted. And, a bit tentative. There was an internal conflict, she observed, as, since becoming Queen and Goddess, she could always read her visitors. It was only fair, really, since most who came here had read her. He was so preoccupied with his surroundings, he'd hadn't seen her, yet.

"Hello," she greeted, smiling.

The boy jumped, startled. His expression was priceless, Queen Alice thought.

And one more test...

ebailey140@aol.com — Tue, 26 Dec 2006 09:46:43 GMT

HP Fic: Wannabe, Chapter 3: How Soon Is Now?

ebailey140@aol.com — Thu, 14 Dec 2006 09:12:54 GMT

Title: Wannabe
Author: Perceval
Category: Smutty Crackfic
Rating: Still PG-13
Pairings: Increasing by the minute.
Warning: Some taboo territory, as a Crackfic should.
Summary: The quest for Tom Riddle begins, but not before a taste test and more song quotes from Luna

Finally, Ginny and Luna came up for air.

Ron was, well, less than happy about what he'd just seen.

"How long have you two been doing this?" he bellowed.

Luna replied, serenely, "Do you mean just now, because I didn't check my watch... Or do you mean..."

"Never mind! I don't want to know!"

"Then, why'd you ask?" Ginny wondered.

"I..."

"You're just jealous because I'm a better kisser than you!"

"I am NOT jealous! And, you're not a better kisser!"

"Am, too! You're a terrible kisser!"

Hermione was hesitant to jump into this discussion, but she had to defend her boyfriend.

"Ginny," she said, "You belittled his kissing abilities, last year. How would YOU know he's a terrible kisser?"

"I... Um..."

"Have you ever noticed," Luna said with a curious expression, "how possessive Ron is of her? How he reacts whenever she's snogging somebody?"

"Hey!" Ron protested. "I'm just being... protective!"

"Yeah!" Hermione affirmed. "It's not like that! It's... not, is it?" she asked, looking back and forth to the two siblings.

Hermione found the uncomfortable silence that followed very worrying.

"OK, fine!" Ron yelled. "We'd gotten into a case of firewhiskey, and we were DRUNK! It was just that one time!"

"Yeah!" Ginny confirmed. "Just that one time! And, he was terrible at it!"

"Um..." Hermione said, wondering if she should ask, "It was just a kiss, right?"

"JUST A KISS!" Ron and Ginny yelled, together.

"Maybe it was being drunk that made the kiss bad?" Luna suggested.

"No way!" Ginny retorted. "I still kiss great, drunk. You know that!"

"True..."

"Enough of this!" Ron said. "We'll SEE who's the better kisser. Hermione..."

"Um, I'd really rather not be the tester... Mmmph!" Hermione was unable to finish her protest due to the insertion of Ron's tongue in her mouth.

"Well," Ginny said to Luna, "now we know how to get her to shut up. OK, my turn!"

"Mmmngmm", said Hermione.

"Well?" asked Ginny.

"Um... Your... technique is excellent... But... With Ron..."

"We need an unbiased tester!" Ginny snapped. "Luna!"

Later, Hermione told Luna, "I don't think I was supposed to be part of your taste test."

Luna smiled and told her, "You liked it."

"That's not the point! The point is..."

"The point IS..." Ginny interrupted, "now that we've all snogged each other, we've got to rescue Tom."

Damn. Hermione had hoped Ginny had forgotten about that.

"We need to save him from himself!" Ginny continued.

"He is human and he needs to be loved," Luna added, "just like everybody else does."

"Luna, stop with the damn song lyrics!" Hermione snapped. "We're in a situation, here!"

"He is the son and the heir of a shyness that is criminally vulgar."

"Luna! This isn't funny! Do you realize what could happen, here? We're going to the Room of Requirement, to..."

"Aren't you the least bit curious to see if it will work?"

"Yes! But... Dammit! You're not thinking of the consequences! If it works... We could all end up in this big... orgy..."

"Well," Luna shrugged, "I didn't have anything better planned for this evening. And here I thought today would be dull..."

--------------------------------------

In the Headmistress's office, Harry Potter was brooding.

"Harry, you're brooding," Professor McGonagall observed.

"I just have this feeling..." Harry said, intensely. "Something's happening... HE is coming..."

"You're being paranoid, Harry."

Harry had the distinct feeling that if Luna had been in the room, she'd have said something about that.

---------------------------------------

The quartet stood outside the Room of Requirement. Hermione made one last attempt to dissuade her colleagues, Ron being too mentally numb to help.

"Guys... Think about what's going to happen, now..."

"When you say it's going to happen 'now'... Well, what exactly do you mean?"

"Luna, I said stop with the damn... Oh crap..."

Ginny was opening the door.

---------------------------------------

Tom Riddle congratulated himself for brilliantly finding yet another secret place at Hogwarts. He had already found the Chamber of Secrets, from which he was about to unleash something terrible, and now this. He had wanted information on that most mysterious of magical secrets, the ziggazagga. And here were books, in this room he'd just stumbled across, that he knew would have what he sought.

Just as he was about to unravel the mystery, the door suddenly swung open. There were... four students he'd never seen before. Strange...

Blazing eyes bore into his, attached to a blazing head with blazing hair, and... Well, she was pretty blazing, all around.

"Tom, we meet again," she said with a predatory smile.

---------------------------------------

Oh no! Tom's in danger! Oh wait, he's the bad guy. Can, um, our heroes and heroines be saved from Tom's corrupting influence? Or something? And, three chapters into a Perceval written fic and not a Black sister in sight?

Bella: Keep me out of this.

Me: No.

HP Fic: Wannabe, Chapter 2

ebailey140@aol.com — Tue, 12 Dec 2006 07:25:56 GMT

Title: Wannabe
Author: Perceval
Rating: PG-13
Pairings: Lots
Summary: Continuing where we left off, Hermione tries to reason with Ginny. Fortunately, Luna's there to help.
Disclaimer: C'mon, Jo never lets them have this much fun.

"So," Ginny asked, "What does Harry love and want besides playing Quiddich and to marry me?"

"Marry?" Luna replied. "Aren't you rushing things, a bit?"

"But, he's GOTTA want to marry me! He never had a real family! A perfect family like ours! We'll be just like mum and dad!"

"We've got a perfect family?" Ron asked. "Where have YOU been?"

Luna smiled and said, "In her own special place, with Quiddich matches, sunlit days, an orchestra playing, she and Harry running to each other in slow motion..."

"Um," Hermione said, "I'm not seeing much connection between all that and settling down and having a lot of kids like your parents, Ginny. How much Quiddich did your mum play when raising you?"

"Well, um..." Ginny stumbled as she tried to match dream with reality.

Ron added, "Just be glad the twins weren't here to hear that. Should I tell 'em?"

"NO!" Ginny yelled, frightened. "OK, I'd like to have some fun, and be loved..."

"By an intense, dark haired, boy that seems a bit distant and out of reach?" Luna asked.

"Yeah! Exactly! What are you snickering about, Hermione?"

Hermione covered her mouth. "Oh, nothing..."

"I just want to give Harry what he wants... what he needs... No one else understands him... Well, I guess you guys do..."

"Well, now that we've got that settled..." Hermione began, seeing the opportunity to get out of this potential mess. If she could change the subject...

"You're trying to change the subject," Ron pointed out. "We haven't settled anything."

Damn, Ron picked NOW, of all times, to show his empathy with her. Great bloody timing...

"Yeah! C'mon, Luna!" Ginny prodded. "Tell me what it is Harry wants and loves, so I can give it to him!"

"I don't think you can," Luna told her.

"Try me."

"Very well. You were close to some of it yourself, a while ago, when you mentioned that we understood Harry, too. We love him, and he loves us."

"Yeah, but he doesn't see either of you THAT way."

Ron scoffed. "Oh, come ON. He's a GUY! With raging hormones! Good looking girls that he's intimate with? You're damn right he looks at them that way! We've talked about it!"

Luna continued, "As the song says, you can't always get what you want, but if you try, sometimes, you get what you need."

Luna was full of song quotes today, Hermione thought. She now thought she understood why Luna pressed this. Ginny would understand that things would never be ideal, that you could never have everything, or even give someone else everything. But, you could still be happy with someone. She watched Ginny pause, thinking things over, and begin to speak.

"Well, that's EASY!"

Huh?

"We need to commit ourselves to Harry! It'll be great! The three of us will go his room, and wait for him in his bed, naked! It'll be the best present, EVER! Oh, and we'll fool around with each other, too, 'cause guys like that, and..."

"GINNY!" Hermione couldn't believe this. "We... We CAN'T!"

"Don't you love him?"

"Yes, but..."

"Then it's settled!"

OK, Ron decided. He'd heard enough.

"Ginny, Hermione and I have our own thing, if you didn't notice."

Ginny looked shocked.

"Ron... How can you be so SELFISH!"

"SELFISH? ME? WHA?"

"After all Harry's done! I thought you were his friend!"

He IS Harry's friend!" Hermione shouted. "He LOVES Harry! Oh, crap..."

Ginny looked at Ron, expectantly.

I am NOT going to do... THAT with Harry!" Ron said, flabbergasted.

Ginny looked shocked, again.

"You would deny Harry what he loves?"

"Look, he's not INTO guys like that!"

Luna said, in her sing song voice, "He certainly seemed pretty obsessed with Draco, last year. And, vice versa."

"Yeah!" Ginny agreed. "And Cedric... He went on and ON about how good looking Cedric was..."

"And Tom Riddle."

"Oh, yeah..." Ginny breathed. "That's something else we have in common. We need Tom."

"WHAT?!!!" Hermione yelled, again.

"Oh, I don't mean old scaly, bald, no nose, Voldemort. I mean... Tom..." Ginny said, dreamily. "We need to go get him back when he was... Maybe even before he killed anybody that we know of! We can SAVE him! We can show him LOVE!"

"Oh, for crying out... Ginny, we can't do that kind of time travel!"

"Oh..." Ginny said, sadly.

Good, Hermione thought. Now, maybe she could talk some sense into Ginny. Ah, Luna was about to say something. She'd know what to say.

"There's the Room of Requirement", Luna suggested. "It provides us what we need, you know."

Ginny brightened, again.

"Luna, I LOVE you!" She ran over and kissed Luna. And kept kissing her. Hermione couldn't help but notice there were tongues involved.

Ron asked, "You get the feeling they've done this, before?"

-------------------------------------------------------

Will Hermione and Ron be able to prevent Ginny and Luna from further efforts to make Harry happy? What else does Harry want? Will Luna get another song quote in?

HP Fic: Wannabe, Chapter 1

ebailey140@aol.com — Tue, 12 Dec 2006 02:42:33 GMT

Title: Wannabe
Author: Perceval
Rating: PG-13, for now, at least.
Category: Crackfic, um, I mean Humor.
Pairings: Multiple
Warnings: Everyone is a bit over the top.
Summary: Hermione never liked the Spice Girls, but never had hearing one of their songs given her a sense of dread. Thanks to Ginny and Luna, it'll be an interesting day for all.

Hermione Granger was a girl who felt at home in both the muggle and magical worlds. There were things she loved and hated about both. One thing she hated about the muggle world was manufactured pop groups. She especially hated the Spice Girls.

Unfortunately for Hermione, Harry Potter loved the Spice Girls. He loved one song, in particular. Much to her dismay, he not only felt the need to turn the radio up full blast, he felt the need to sing along to it. Very loudly. And, he wasn't the best singer in the world.

At least he didn't start dancing.

For some reason Hermione couldn't place, this bothered her more than it should have. She had this strange feeling of foreboding.

She, Harry, and Ron Weasley had returned to Hogwarts because Harry needed to consult with Professor McGonagall about their hunt for Voldemort's horcruxes. While he was doing so, Hermione and Ron were passing the time catching up with Luna Lovegood and Ginny Weasley. After Hermione complained about the Spice Girls, what Luna told her filled her with dread.

"Do you think it meant something?" Luna asked.

"Besides Harry's terrible taste in music?" Hermione answered.

"Prophetic omens can come in the strangest ways. Which song was it?"

"Wannabe."

"Ah... Perhaps you need to find out what a ziggazagga is. I've always wondered that..."

Ginny squealed, "I LOVE that song!"

"Really?" Luna asked, surprised. "You and your family have always been so isolated from the muggles. When did you hear it?"

"Um... I... I haven't, but... If Harry loves it, it must really be great, right?"

Hermione sighed. She'd really hoped Ginny had gotten over this. Ron rolled his eyes. Luna just observed Ginny with detached curiosity.

Hermione had always wondered about the dynamics of Ginny's and Luna's friendship. For the second time that day, though, she had a feeling of foreboding. All she could think was the old warning to be careful what you wished for.

"Harry loves many things," Luna told Ginny.

"Oh, I know ALL about what he loves!" Ginny breathlessly exclaimed.

"Like Quiddich?"

"YES!"

"And what else?"

"Um... The Space Girls!"

"Spice Girls," Hermione corrected.

"Yeah! Them! And snogging! Snogging ME!"

"Or snogging, in general?" Hermione couldn't stop herself from asking.

"Look, we have this... connection! We have silent communication!"

"You have a damn chest monster! And a schoolgirl celebrity crush!" Hermione snapped. All the irritation had finally reached it's boiling point. "What do you actually talk about, besides Quiddich and snogging?"

"We don't NEED to talk!!! We don't NEED words!!!"

"Ahem," Luna inserted herself back into the firestorm she'd ignited. "Who's the Legilimens, here?"

"Huh?" Ron broke in. "Luna's a Legilimens?"

"Ron!" Hermione snapped. "Quit being so clueless! She knows what everyone's thinking all the time, and she's ALWAYS keeping eye contact..."

"I thought she was just being weird."

Hermione's hopes of straying off topic were dashed, quickly, as Ginny narrowed her eyes at Luna, who was grinning like the Cheshire Cat. Bloody Ravenclaw sense of humor...

Well, Miss Legilimens," Ginny addressed the Ravenclaw. "Tell us what Harry wants, besides me."

"You want me to just tell you what he wants, what he really, really, wants?"

"YES!" Ginny exclaimed, with a, to Hermione, frightening gleam in her eye. "He deserves to have everything he could possibly want, and I'll see to it that he GETS it!"

Hermione knew Harry better than he knew himself. They shared a special bond, along with Ron. Of course, so did Luna. She looked at Luna, warningly.

"Don't... Go... There," she said, through gritted teeth.

"Oh, but I MUST."

"So," Ron wondered, "What's wrong with giving Harry what he really wants? I think that'd be great. It's great that Ginny wants to do this."

"RON!" Hermione yelled.

----------------------------------------------

So, what does Harry want, what's he really, really, want? And, what is a ziggazagga?

And still another quiz

ebailey140@aol.com — Sat, 02 Dec 2006 20:09:13 GMT

As Dumbledore, you are talented, intelligent and powerful! You may prefer to be in a leadership position, and always uphold what is right. You set trends with your crazy beard.

Of course, I usually test as Sirius, and sometimes Luna, but those weren't options. This is also one of the very few times I haven't gotten Ravenclaw. Dumbleodre was 71%, second for me was Hermione, at 59%.

Huh... I usually test as Sirius

ebailey140@aol.com — Sat, 25 Nov 2006 12:00:09 GMT

Harry Potter Personality Quiz by Pirate Monkeys Inc.

Another one of those tests...

ebailey140@aol.com — Mon, 20 Nov 2006 10:32:54 GMT

You are The Star

Hope, expectation, Bright promises.

The Star is one of the great cards of faith, dreams realised

The Star is a card that looks to the future. It does not predict any immediate or powerful change, but it does predict hope and healing. This card suggests clarity of vision, spiritual insight. And, most importantly, that unexpected help will be coming, with water to quench your thirst, with a guiding light to the future. They might say you're a dreamer, but you're not the only one.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Interesting, considering the main subject of my HP fic, that I got the card identified with the mythological Andromeda.

Loved the John Lennon quote, too.

Greek Mytholgy Test

ebailey140@aol.com — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 08:23:39 GMT

Orpheus
0% Extroversion, 66% Intuition, 72% Emotiveness, 80% Perceptiveness

You are an artist, an aesthete, a sensitive, and someone who has never really let go of that childlike innocence. To you, all of life has a sense of wonder in it, and the story of Orpheus was written about someone just like you.

When the Argo passed the island of the Sirens, Orpheus played a song more beautiful than the Sirens to prevent the crew from becoming enticed. When his wife died, he ventured into the underworld to charm Hades but, in his naivete, he looked back becoming trapped there.

You can capture your unique world view and relate it to others with the skill of a master storyteller. Your sensitivity and creativity make you a treasure to the human race, but your thin-skinned nature and innocence can cause you a lot of disenchantment and pain. What's doubly unfortunate is that, if you try to lose those traits, you never will, and everyone will be able to tell that you're putting up an artificial shell to prevent yourself from being hurt.

Famous people like you: Hemingway, Shakespeare, Mr. Rogers, Melville, Nick Tosches
Stay clear of: Icarus, Hermes, Atlas

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 0% on Extroversion

You scored higher than 58% on Intuition

You scored higher than 64% on Emotiveness

You scored higher than 75% on Perceptiveness

Link: The Greek Mythology Personality Test written by Aleph_Nine on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Color code quiz

ebailey140@aol.com — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 08:04:43 GMT

Perceval took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test!

"Seeks success, stimulation, and a life full of exp..."

Click here to read the rest of the results.

Gay rights

ebailey140@aol.com — Thu, 12 Oct 2006 06:59:30 GMT

Gay Rights
"Why is it that, as a culture, we are more comfortable seeing two men holding guns than holding hands?"
-- Ernest Gaines

We would like to know who really believes in gay rights on livejournal. There is no bribe of a miracle or anything like that. If you truly believe in gay rights, then repost this and title the post as "Gay Rights". If you don't believe in gay rights, then just ignore this. Thanks.

How will you be suspended from LJ? by Anonymous LJ User
Username
Years on LJ
Snape
Hours left until your suspension	31
Your crime	Forgetting to flock your Dumbledore/Grindelwald/Hitler comm.
Who reported you	bellonablack
Your fate	Y HELLO THAR LOL_MEME